MONETIZING HATRED: How One Mommy Blogger Earned Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

May 20, 2016 — 110 Comments

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It’s a simple formula. Write something offensive and inflammatory, sit back, and watch the flames blaze out of control.

Publishing intentionally sensationalist pieces designed to generate enraged clicks is going to garner more attention than meaningful writing. So when Josi Denise (link intentionally not provided) decided her Mommy Blogging days were over, she fantasized that she would take down all Mommy blogs with her as she stormed off the Internet.

To accomplish this, she launched a vitriolic attack on Mommy bloggers, and drew massive undeserved attention. She claimed that her blog is disingenuous, artificially cheery, and just “sucks.”  As part of a moral and creative epiphany, she wanted to write more substantial material. Frustrated with being taken advantage of by big brands and PR firms, she declared war against writing sponsored content.

Packaging your disgruntlement as a rancorous tirade towards everyone else, whose work and motivations you have no clue of, is more than just misdirected hatred. It’s socially and culturally irresponsible.

It’s women to women misogyny. And in the online world, where people act without consequence, it is especially brutal.

 

Some view “Mommy Blogger” as a pejorative term. Blogging in and of itself is a target in the professional writing world. Blogs are a self-regulated publishing platform, and as such, can be filled with questionable content and rife with cringe-inducing spelling and grammatical errors.

Mom-centric bloggers, who typically write about their homes and family, are often stereotyped as stay-at-home moms, with little or no writing skills, hoping to “make some extra money” blogging. This is a damaging cliché.

“Mommy Bloggers” write bestselling books. They have elite bylines, including The Washington Post and the New York Times. They publish gorgeously crafted essays designed to reach across the cyber channels to support other women in the often desperately lonely journey of raising a family.

Thankfully, the lines are being blurred here, in both directions. I may not write about diapers or breast-feeding, but my son is my highest priority. He is the subject of the majority of my blog posts, despite the reputation I have for salacious content.

Am I a Mommy Blogger?

And if I am, what of it?

Even if the stereotypical Mommy Blogger does exist, why do we need to judge her? How does telling all Mommy Bloggers that they “suck” help one woman on her journey to a different creative outlet? It doesn’t.

I have no experience in the world of writing sponsored content. Perhaps it is deplorable and inauthentic. Perhaps bloggers are being exploited by big brands and PR companies. It was especially important, then, that this blogger actually communicate her message, without alienating the very audience she was hoping to enlighten.

If there is a seamy underbelly to the Mommy Blogging world, Josi Denise could have called out the exploiters without being destructive and regressive in her writing. But she knew that it would drive anger-based traffic, and that was more important to her than contributing to the quality and diversity of women’s voices online.

She chose to feed the misogynist media climate and advance herself on the backs of women writers everywhere. 

The compulsion for women to tear one another down is deeply imbedded in the female consciousness. Intentionally and unintentionally, we collude with sexism – sometimes for personal gain, often, in response to feeling oppressed by a sexist society. However, the impulse to attack other women in response to feeling oppressed is a symptom of that same oppression.

We lash out at each other, instead of at the real issue.

Josi Denise is protected by her First Amendment rights. Like everyone else, she is allowed to publish what she pleases. That does not mean that these tirades are innocuous. We have a responsibility to acknowledge what hundreds of studies have shown – that media content directly impacts people; how they feel about themselves, and in turn, how they treat each other. Even if the writer does not have bad intentions, misogynist tropes in media are profoundly damaging to all women.

 

We are battling a world in which women are bombarded with false notions of physical perfection and hypersexuality. We are ravaged by sexual assault and domestic abuse. Even in 2016, women experience gender pay gap. Women writers are struggling to be heard in a male-dominated industry.

If we are going to move the needle on how we are treated, if we are going to create change of any kind, we have to join together. Can you imagine how much women could accomplish if weren’t preoccupied with publicly and privately maligning one another? If we stopped attempting to annihilate other women online, and in real life? If we focused our energies on building one another up and joining forces.?

Part of me is worried that by writing this, I am feeding the machine. I purposely refrained from saying disparaging things about this woman and her blog. That rhetoric would be dangerous and counterproductive. I would be contributing to the very agency I am battling. Because she, too, is a victim of our culture, which preaches and practices hatred against women.

She’s already received coverage on bigger sites. She finally got the widespread acclaim she sought, which eluded her in all her years of mommy blogging. But her big break came at a price – a price all women are paying.

 

Going forward, how can we –  men, women, writers or readers –  change this conversation from the inside without harming this, or future, generations of women?

Talk to me.
I’m really, REALLY, REALLY listening. 

 

Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter  so I can have friends without leaving the house.

 

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110 responses to MONETIZING HATRED: How One Mommy Blogger Earned Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

  1. 

    Have no answers to bring forth change… But I want to stand up on my bed and applaud you. Well done. ❤

  2. 

    Holy shit, I love you.

  3. 

    What a thoughtful and amazing response!

  4. 

    Thanks for calling out the bloggers who seem to love to hate. Even in a virtual world, women can feel the pain of harsh words. It’s folly to be so derisive toward others who are sharing their life experiences in order to bring women together. Don’t like their style or content? Then click and move on!

  5. 

    As a mommy & new-ish blogger I have to wonder Why someone would tear down another woman. Lord knows society does enough as well as snarky females I feel are just unhappy.
    I was a writer before I became a mommy & my son often is included in my ramblings but to be “pinholed” as a “mommy blogger” I don’t feel that is right or even accurate for myself or others.
    You are my personal hero though as I love reading, learning & laughing hysterically with all you share.
    Let’s not tear down but build up.
    Thank you for all that you do!
    Seriously you’re my girl crush!

  6. 

    One on side, I understood her rage. I understood those feelings of anguish and despair, that feeling that you’ve been sidelined and ignored. That feeling that you’re a nobody despite your best efforts to put your work out there and be recognized.

    Initially, I applauded Josi for having the balls to write the post. But, I must admit, after more thought and reflection, my opinion has changed. I mean, kudos to standing up for yourself, but it could and should have been done in a way that was far less insulting, inflammatory and not outright mean.

    I’ve had to learn the hard way how being a twat can impact people’s view of you and how it can affect you even months down the road. There’s just no excuse for it.

    Had that post been about 300 words shorter (or more) and far more productive in its assessment without all the “Mommy bloggers, you fucking suck” insults, it might have been a better piece. Might.

    • 

      Kim, you hit the nail on the head. She had important stuff to say! But who’s going to listen, when someone is yelling at you that you suck!!

      By the way, you’re a sweetie. Just so you know. xoxoxo

  7. 

    Oh you women….Lol.

    I was going to suggest a giant pillow/tickle fight to finally put an end to the acrimony, but that sounded a little bit inappropriate in this context, so I got nothin’. The only way to create change is going to be to band together though, because there will be a point when enough voices, when used together, can be heard so easily that they can’t be ignored. The people who run the show, “The Man” I guess, can’t stand when the little people unite and demand justice. The Man loves infighting though. I’m sure of it. You can’t be taken seriously as a group, when the group’s very own members don’t agree on what they want. That goes for any group. Whether it’s women fighting for equality, or minorities, or the poor or a union or whoever, it’s going to take numbers and unity of purpose. Keep fighting the good fight, Samara. You’re still one of my favorite online people. When we write to gain page views instead of to speak our truths, I think we lose a little bit of who we are. Maybe this happened to this other woman. I don’t know her, so I can’t say.

    • 

      Your comment is truth. We can’t be taken seriously as a group if all we do is infight.

      Thanks for weighing in here, Don. Good to see you.

  8. 

    They should rename Facebook, Disingenuous and Artificially Cheery. You’d get residuals.

    Well, this one got by me but I’m not the target audience. (No mommy or daddy blogger, I.) Standing in judgement goes back a long, long way. Ever hear of a Greek Chorus? How about the three witches in Macbeth? I don’t think there’s much to be done, frankly.

    Here’s why I love Taylor Swift: she stood in Met Life Stadium in front of tens of thousands of young girls, my daughters included, and told them to, “go home, look in the mirror and say ‘I’m beautiful,’ because that’s what you are.” The positive affirmations exist.

    • 

      Positivity goes a long way towards exacting change.

      This post was all over Facebook. That’s why you didn’t see it – you’re smart enough to stay off. But she’s gotten all sorts of media coverage now. Yikes.
      People love a good take-down. Maybe you’re right, and there’s nothing to be done. I wrote this anyway.

      I guess you’ve been taking your girls to Taylor Swift concerts?

    • 

      Well, I think the world needs both Taylor Swifts and Josi Denises – one to tell you to “go look in the mirror and say I’m beautiful”, and then the other to say “but you know what, you should realize that you probably not going to have a lucrative career in modeling.”
      Maybe that blog post’s tone could have used serious improvement, but aside from “you all suck”, I think it said what needed to be said about what to expect if you try to monetize your blog. I am not familiar with how monetization works for any kinds of bloggers, but maybe Denise went after the mommy bloggers not out of desire to tear down other women (although it may have been a contributing factor), but because that’s who she was and that’s what she knew best.

      • 

        I can’t imagine anyone seriously thinks that they’re going to make any kind of living off blogging. You buy a lottery ticket because it’s fun. But only a fool would think they were actually going to win the lottery. There are dreams and there are lapses in reality.

      • 

        You can earn a decent amount of money blogging, but not doing what you and I do- which is write about the things we love.

        At BlogHer, which is primarily a brand networking event, I connected with and received dozens of emails from companies to market their products.

        Then my blog would be filled with posts reviewing products. No thanks.

        I am, however, aspiring to make money in the freelance writing world. Not enough to support my family, but I am getting paid to write sometimes!! Wish me luck!!!

      • 

        I buy a lottery ticket maybe two times a year because it’s fun. But there are people who buy stacks of tickets, and they’re going for the win.

      • 

        My boss at one of my corporate jobs used to buy tickets every week, and tell me, “if I win, we split it.”

        After the office shut down, and was relocated to Long Island, he did the same thing with the office manager there and HE WON. I SWEAR.

      • 

        Hmmm…. my conspiracy-seeking mind tells me that he may have had the winning ticket but didn’t want to share it with you.

      • 

        You probably didn’t read the post, but it was far worse than “you all suck.” I scaled it back. She did have some useful things to say about monetizing your blog.

        But she also told mommy bloggers, with capitalized expletives, that she was planning to kill the mommy blog because they were writing useless drivel that no one reads.

        No one needs that kind of ugliness. She’s been conditioned to take her anger out at people who are not responsible for the situation. It did get her lots of attention- negative.

      • 

        No, I did read the post. Actually, I’ve only heard about it from your post, so you contributed to it’s publicity. 🙂
        I took “I’m killing the mommy blog”, “you’re all boring”, “you’re fucking suck”, “nobody’s reading you” as literary exaggerations – she can’t seriously hope to end all mommy blogs with one post once and for all, obviously. But “nobody’s reading you”? While it’s technically not true if there’s just one person reading the blog, we know that 80-90% of people who click on Follow don’t actually read the blog.
        Although – if you think a blog sucks, just don’t read it like everyone else. Going on a crusade against blogs no one is making anyone read may be a bit unnecessary.

      • 

        Wait- you mean everyone following this blog isn’t reading it?
        Aww. Bummer. 🙂

  9. 

    If it types like an opportunist and promotes like an opportunist, it’s probably an opportunist.

  10. 

    You’ve done a brilliant job of highlighting the stereotypes of “mommy bloggers” that seemed to be the real target of Denise’s ire (even though she thought she was speaking of real people) and shown not only how false they are but how damaging stereotypes can be.

    • 

      She was talking about a stereotype, and I guess about herself, because she chose to embody that stereotype.

      And then attack everyone else for her own choices. As if that makes sense.

  11. 

    I wonder how many of these light the touchpaper and run type articles and blogs are the truly heartfelt beliefs of the writer and how many are controversy for controversy’s sake? In the UK we have a “newspaper” (I use the term loosely) that uses female writers to spew forth on all sorts of hateful issues (Katie Hopkins and Shona Sibhary are the main offenders in case you are interested) usually sneering at other women or shouting proudly about their offensive life choices. I don’t think either of them, deep down, believe half the bile and brag that they publish, but it pays the bills.

  12. 
    Jessie, FlusteredMom May 20, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Lol – I would buy that t-shirt! I think it’s hysterical. I missed the mommy blogger hate post, but I’ve read about it. I’m a mommy blogger – my blog is not disingenuous, but I definitely have posts that I hate. I look at them and think, “Why the hell did I ever write this shit?”. My fingers sneak towards the delete button once daily. Usually, I manage to restrain myself. If that chick really stopped blogging, it’s a total waste of pr. haha

  13. 

    “We have a responsibility to acknowledge what hundreds of studies have shown – that media content directly impacts people; how they feel about themselves, and in turn, how they treat each other. Even if the writer does not have bad intentions, misogynist tropes in media are profoundly damaging to all women.”

    Add some links, please… This is interesting! 🙂

    Also, am I a Mommy blogger? I mean, does being a mom who blogs by dint make one a mommy blogger? Is there a percentage of posts that must be dedicated to you kids or child care in general to be a “mommy” blogger? I swear, sometimes if it weren’t for games and ebay, I’d be swearing off the internet, because I am so tired of how nasty people are. And I know it’s a bad excuse, but it MAKES me feel and act nasty too, because I will totally snap back and say some fucked up shit to someone being a dick. :/

    • 

      Just google how media impacts behavior. There are probably 500 studies that show how much people are influenced by what they see online. People carry on with the whole “Oh, jeez, everything is censored now” because they are ignorant to the damage their words do.

      I don’t know what makes a mommy blogger anymore. I am going to start calling myself one, because I’m a Mom who blogs, and that works for me!

  14. 

    Blogging is clique-ish, and I’m pretty sure everyone knows this. It’s the old “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” routine. I follow people who never read anything I write. Should I be all butt hurt about that and feel like other women aren’t supporting me? God, when did blogging turn into a damn social media site? That sure as hell seems to be what it is now.

  15. 

    I’ve always felt that the women bashing women movement, yes I’ll call it a movement, is at its core why ,and how we can be demeaned further by men. If we allow the infighting if you will to rule how we find our power, then we have no right to complain when we are bashed by men for not measuring up. I may be off base here, but at the very least, when we can’t uplift those who are in our same or similar shoes and feel the only way to better ourselves is to put others down we don’t deserve the accolades. I’m not a mommy blogger, and even belong to some “Not a mommy blogger” groups. That doesn’t mean I don’t find value in what they have to say. I may not relate, because I don’t have children, although I’m dating a man for the last year who does have two boys and I’m quite involved in their life. I find her tirade to be her only way to get the attention she so desperately has been seeking. She didn’t achieve what she wanted by being a so called mommy blogger. It’s called failure. We all fail in our lives at some point. The lesson to be learned is to pick yourself up and move on. Do something different, which is totally fine. Maybe Mommy Blogger isn’t the right fit for her. BUT don’t demean the very act you felt was going to bring you fame, fortune etc because you failed. I can go as far as saying that it’s not setting a very good example for children, if a parents failure becomes so self consuming and they are sore losers for lack of a better word. I’ll just keep aligning myself with strong, powerful women, as yourself who preach what they know, love and feel to their core. Because at the end of the day that’s the best we can do and it’s better to be surrounded by positivity than negative nellies. ~Paula

    • 

      Exactly. If you don’t want to do something, stop. If you feel there are negative aspects to it, tell us. But please don’t tell a whole niche of writers that they are shit. No one needs to feel bad about themselves.

  16. 
    Gretchen Kellaway May 20, 2016 at 11:52 am

    You are right! The problem is in tearing each other apart and putting each other down. We live in a world where we compare everything to someone else. Our appearance, our social skills, our parenting skills. We already believe ourselves not good enough, not worth enough, we barely love ourselves, so when other women are there to tell us we are in fact less than- we hear and feel it as truth.

    We need to be supporting and loving one another. Not just the mothers of the world, but women together. Promoting and pushing and helping each other.

    Starting by loving and owning ourselves, then looking out and shining that back out into our world and all the other world’s surrounding us.

    It needs to stop. And the only way we can stop it is by supporting one another instead of breaking each other apart until there is nothing left.

  17. 

    I was so torn by her post. Part of me thought well shit, I just started my mommy blog. Now what? But then the other part of me thought well, yeah. If I really don’t like a product why would I write an article saying I do. I did appreciate the fact that she pointed out that you might be wasting your money on some things, but I also haven’t monetized my site so I’m still only writing things I want to write. I do wish she hadn’t told people to quit though, I LOVE my fellow mommy bloggers and do think there is still a large following of mommy blogs.

  18. 

    I didn’t read the article in question but have read others responses to it. I don’t know if curiosity will kill the cat and I’ll end up reading it or not. One thing I know for sure I’d walk through a Canadian snow storm, hot coals, and a sea of naked people on a nude beach to read this article again! As always Samara you’re brilliant, well done, I love your truth and you. ❤️

    • 

      Please don’t walk on hot coals for this article!
      Thanks for reading, and for always being so supportive. Love you, too. xoxo

      • 

        You’re welcome honey, I’m too chicken shit to walk on hot coals but it’s that amazing I would write a story about doing so. 😉 Love and hugs to you. ❤️

  19. 

    So well said, Samara. I skimmed the piece and wondered the same as you- am I a mommy blogger? Is this directed at me? On the one hand, no doubt! I call myself “mama art” and talk about my kids non-stop, right? But it sounded like she was writing from an unhealthy place and specifically about moms making money by faking it for testimonials about specific products (types the woman who gets paid by Mabel’s Labels, but I digress. Besides, I frickin’ love those labels.)
    I’m amazed that it’s being talked about anywhere. When there are such stunningly moving pieces out there- like at Jenny’s Lark and Goodnight Already, and right here, too, for instance- then I say, mweh (shrugging shoulders). Haters gonna hate hate hate. But I say shake it off. (Is it ironic I’m with gentlemen, Don of All trades and Exile, on this one? Also, Kim, because that post needed to be way shorter. Perhaps she’d hire us as editors with all her testimonial money? Ha!)
    I’m just going to stick with the places where I find moving, funny, interesting things written and not worry too much about the nuts holding the Repent,-End-Of-Wurld (misspelling intentional) signs. I may be a sinner, but I don’t worry much about kooks telling me I’m going to hell.

    • 

      It got HUGE attention, because it was so inflammatory. Pick something horrible, something untrue and stereotypical, and now – write about it. It will get WILD attention. It happened again, just the other day. With that writer who wrote the most loathesome article ever, about how it’s better off that her mentally ill friend is dead.

      She’s getting TELEVISION coverage for writing that disgusting article. I just – I don’t know.

  20. 

    Thank you. I have been a “mommy blogger’ for five years. Every year it seems somebody has something negative to say about those of us who write about our families. I like what I do. I even have done some sponsored content, and lived to tell about it! There is always going to be somebody who uses their blog to stir the pot. I’m glad I’m friends with bloggers like you, who use their space on the web for spreading a positive message. xo

  21. 

    I followed this melodrama for a few days and commented on two sites with bloggers of different ages. I noticed that the “writer” posted several snarky responses to criticism by bragging about how many clicks and shares she was receiving. She’s a misogynist click-whore, and you nailed it with the best response. Now, onto better subjects.

  22. 

    She probably accomplished what she set out to do, which was to draw attention/traffic to her new blog. There is a comedian (Owen Benjamin) who does this bit on women and how we could rule the world if we’d stop tearing each other down. Women around the world nervously laugh–we know it’s true because we’ve either done it, watched as it was done or had it done to us. Very rarely do you find someone unaffected by this particular phenomenon.

  23. 

    All I can say is, well said! 🙂 I don’t think much can be done, either. Same-gender-appreciation classes in school? As a society, we’ve started work on other difficult issues such as racism, but this one is knottier than most because it involves such a great deal of individual self-examination.

    • 

      Thank you for reading! I hope it’s not true that we can’t do SOMETHING. Maybe, someone, somewhere, will read this and fight the impulse to tear down another woman? Maybe?

  24. 

    ^What I was going to say too, Jennifer. I think women are far more powerful than men, and men know it. The problem is, we’ll never “rule the world” as long as there’s infighting and an insufferable lack of support. I didn’t read the article, and now I’m torn on whether to or not – I don’t want to contribute to her stats. Nevertheless, I didn’t know there was any issue with mommy bloggers, though I will admit I’ve read many I just felt were boring and a dime a dozen. I got hooked on Single Dad Laughing years ago – I felt he was honest and entertaining, but at some point I felt he became a little too overindulgent and self-serving. That’s my observation, NOT a judgement. I still think he’s a great guy and dad, overall (though I don’t know him personally). This online support group I was a member of proved to be disheartening to say the least, once I realized that the women running it were behaving like high school mean girls. This behavior between grown women is everywhere.

    • 

      Yes, I’m in an online group where the women take passive aggressive stabs at one another. It sucks.

      Thanks for stopping by to read, and comment. xoxoxoox

  25. 

    The infighting and push back about who is or isn’t authentic has always been around and will always be. Some Sneetches want stars until they see other Sneetches with them.

    Her post wasn’t close to being the first about this and it won’t be the last. People have short memories.

    The easy way to get attention is start a fight.

    • 

      SO true. It wasn’t the first, it was just the latest, and particularly offensive because she had SUCH a big mommy blog following. She attacked her own audience.
      Yuck.

  26. 

    I’m glad you wrote this. That piece that gal penned made me wonder what purpose she was seeking. I walked away from it intentionally. I blog. I’m a mom. I snowboard. I have made it the other side of PTSD. Does that make me a mommy snowboarding mental health blogger? Who knows?!? I read all genres of blogs. Yes, I think I fall in the mommy blogging catagory primarily but I spend time reading all the things I can get my hands on. Blogs by men, women, even a couple of kid blogs (and I’m telling you – those are the BEST!). Supporting each other is what it’s all about. And I don’t just mean writing. I mean in life. As we learn and teach the next generation my hope is to continue the growth of understanding and support. I love the closing question. Starting the conversation is the start of change!

    You rock.

  27. 

    Note that male writers do not get dismissed as “Daddy Bloggers.” I continue to be amazed at how many gifted writers there are out there. And, I’m blessed to count them among my friends. Great piece. Thanks.

  28. 

    I don’t know if she started out looking for attention straight out but I can’t help but agree with many of her viewpoints. There is a lot of crap. A lot of blogs do suck but I don’t know that I would tell them to quit (maybe find another focus? Find a mentor? Take a step back?) because the thing is that majority of the new mom bloggers try to do it all at once without really learning who the readers are or in some cases, even caring (those are the bloggers she was mentioning) because for them it IS all about the money and page views.

    My biggest issue with all of this is that yes, we treat each other like crap. And it wasn’t just her post – it was the responses and the discussions to her post that really left me with a sick feeling. It turned my stomach to see people I respected name call and everything else. We can’t have change if we don’t act above the people who are coming down on us because NO ONE will take us seriously. Our own community included.

    • 

      I could not believe the way she answered comments in one facebook group. That’s where it looked like she was just out to fucking attack women, for no good reason.

      She had a really good message, something we can all learn from. Unfortunately, messages like that get lost when they’re buried in, “you’re a loser, you suck, go fuck yourself.”

  29. 

    I didn’t know that ‘mommy blogger’ was perceived so negatively until I chanced on a discussion about this on Facebook! I have no idea what this blogger was planning to achieve because I haven’t read the article. I find it questionable that her account was suspended and I really hope that an explanation is provided of who took it down and why.

    • 

      I only recently realized there was a negative connotation to Mommy blogger, and it made me want to fiercely defend all the talented Mommy bloggers I know!
      I’m calling myself a Mommy blogger from now on.

  30. 

    Poignant, powerful and written in your distinctive voice, this piece is both a rally cry to sensibility as well as a shout out to all the “mommy bloggers” who contribute so much to our culture online. Thanks for taking up the mantle on this, and reminding people that the definition of “mommy blogger” is quite the opposite of what this woman. Wants people to think — at least for the sake of grabbing the spotlight. Well done and bravo, Samara 😉

    • 

      I love my Mommy blogger friends. They’re an incredibly talented bunch, and to discount them in this way irked me so badly.
      Thanks for the kudos, Ned! xo

  31. 

    I don’t know, I don’t know, but I DO know this is bloody FANTASTIC and a great response not only to her post, but to the FAR larger issue which underlies the whole debacle. And I wish I knew the answer to it.

    All I can suggest is #LoveWins, and we need to demonstrate it as often as possible, reminding each other of the living, feeling hearts, each in their own circumstances, beyond the screens…

    Precious, I am proud to know you ANYWAY, but this makes me super-proud of the way you show your heart and your desire that the world change for the better.

  32. 

    The whole thing is ridiculous honestly. I never heard of this woman prior and hello that is why she did it. That she chose to be ugly is why I won’t read her blog ever, not because she was a mommy blogger. The truth is there is room for everyone and if you don’t like what someone is writing don’t read it. Simple

  33. 

    I am in awe of your writing power. This is an incredibly powerful, well thought out piece. And part of me hopes she reads it and understands. Another part of me thinks that her head works like my ex’s…so that type of insight is not possible.

    • 

      No, she won’t be enlightened by this. But – is it too much to hope that somewhere, some woman might be? And stop herself from tearing down another woman, for sport? Let’s hope. xoxooxoxox

  34. 

    I love reading mommy bloggers. Who else can relate to my life? Well, not all of them, but many. And there are several talented ones out there. I figure, if there are so many ads popping up that I can’t read the blog, I’m gone. Or, if the writing doesn’t grab me, I’m gone, no matter who’s writing. Such a shame for someone to have a temper tantrum online and be rewarded by tons of views. Same mentality of “if it bleeds, it leads.” Not for me.

    One thing I experienced recently was someone “liking” 29 of my posts all of a sudden and then checking out their blog to find it less than 2 months old with tons of followers. I read a few pieces and was not impressed or interested. The whole thing struck me as weird. I don’t have a lot of followers or commenters, but it’s a nice little community that has organically grown over the six years I’ve been writing.

    • 

      Yes, some people are very good with the whole strategy of building a following. I suck at that. I’m amazed every day that people read me, and am incredibly grateful. xoxoxo

  35. 

    My thoughts are her latest position is a well thought out click bait marketing plan and is about as authentic as her ‘perfect life’ mommy blogging days.

  36. 

    You have my full support & I applaud you for this.

  37. 

    Sorry Samara – I don’t follow any Mommy blogs. As an aside, I just did a guest post over at Mark Bialczak’s. I would be honored if you had the time to drop by for a read. https://markbialczak.com/2016/05/22/no-violins/comment-page-1/#comment-79841 Thank You.

  38. 

    I read the post a that you’re writing about few days ago.

    I found it offensive because I follow a ‘Mommy Blogger’ and because I respect the choice she’s made.

    She is a gifted writer.

    I think the most exciting evolution in social media is that more and more people are calling out the cheats.

    Writing an inflammatory post that bullies other people just to boost views is a cheat.

    Explaining how it feels to breastfeed and helping other new Mothers to anticipate problems doesn’t get as many views, but it improves the quality of other people’s lives.

    I guess how one uses a blog comes down to whether one is playing a numbers game or whether one is genuinely trying to give expression to some aspect of the human experience.

    There is art and there is the game of art….

    When stumble over inflammatory click bait made by a gamer I say, ‘there but for the grace of God’ and move on.

    The pathology that comes with desperately needing to win the attention of others is deeply uninteresting.

    • 

      What a beautiful and well thought out comment.

      I believe there is a place for all kinds of writing. Blog to give expression to the human experience, blog to get paid to write sponsored content, blog to make people laugh, do whatever.
      Just please- don’t ridicule people because you’ve made a different choice.
      There’s room for all of us. No reason to make people question themselves- we all do that just fine on our own, don’t we?

      Thank you for stopping by. Xo

  39. 

    Perfect response with both tact and grace. Well done Samara. And yes! To all of it.

  40. 

    You Rock!!! Thank you for calling out the haters!

  41. 

    Posts that deconstruct the ‘chain of evidence’ and expose the real issues, like this are very necessary … well done.

  42. 

    It is so refreshing to see fellow bloggers lifting each other up I dreading of tearing each other down. BRAVO!

  43. 

    Well, I feel left out
    because I’m a blogger of older boys. Seriously. And I’m still a MOMMY.
    Anyhow…
    I love love love your passion and VOICE, Samara.
    Applauding your from Minnesota. xx

  44. 

    Girl….why aren’t you writing for the New Yorker? Who can I call!?
    Amazing…thanks for standing up for bloggers, women, and writers everywhere ❤️

  45. 

    Motherhood has always been a rather private affair; I think it scares the bejeezus out of people to listen to what it’s like. All the shaming, the fighting, the derision, it’s just another way to keep us silent. Bravo for this post!

    • 

      hey, wow! I haven’t seen you around forever! How cool to see you on my blog!

      I’m so glad you took the time to read and comment. And that you’re back.
      Thanks. xoxoxoooxoxox

    • 

      DAWN, my LOVE! I’m so happy to see you!
      I’m thinking about you, because I’m getting ready to go to BlogU. Which reminds me of going to BlogHer last year!

      Thank you for reading. Whatcha been up to? Is there something you published recently that I should read?
      Link me, please! ❤

      • 

        Samara, you are often in my thoughts, but life has been crazy and I don’t read or write enough, these days! Wish I was on my way to BlogU, as I know I need a good kick in the butt, to get me going!! I try to read all of your posts, even if sometimes I just leave a like, and not a comment… as for my work, it is where it’s always been; you will find it when the spirit moves you. xox

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Why Are Mommy Bloggers Under Attack—from Within? - - May 23, 2016

    […] This piece first appeared on Samara’s blog A Buick in the Land of Lexus. […]

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