New York Stories: Phone Girl In a Whore House

March 23, 2014 — 190 Comments
A little more clothing than this. A little.

A little more clothing than this. A little.

“VOICE OVER ACTRESSES WANTED $$$”

Only someone impossibly young would answer an ad that has “$$$” in it.

Especially when it’s in the Village Voice, not even Backstage magazine. But I had been back in New York a half hour and was impatient for Stardom.

I called, set up the audition, and off I went to a…

Townhouse in the East 50’s?

A very posh one, tucked in between Sutton Place and Lenox Hill.

The location was odd – a townhouse? in the east 50’s – but did I mention I was young? And probably hung over?

First sign something was amiss – not too many auditions take place in townhouses.

Well, they do.

I just walked out of those. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be blogging, that’s for sure.

I announced myself to the disembodied voice on the intercom, waited patiently for a surveillance camera to scrutinize me, and entered a posh hallway.

Surveillance camera?

I suddenly became hyper aware that this was a MOST unusual setting for an audition.

I climbed a flight of thickly carpeted steps anyway, and was met at the door by a tall brunette who introduced herself as “Katherine” and led me inside.

It was a luxurious apartment. Decorated in that cliched 90’s mauve/grey color scheme. Plush carpeting, tasteful artwork. Two long couches adjacent to one another, and atop, lounged 5 women.

“Lounging” is the only word I can use to describe the way they were artfully arranged on those couches.

And they were dressed in outfits that were a little too sexy for the standard audition. Not completely sluttish – maybe a few degrees south of slut.

My instincts told me something was not right there.

My curiosity got the better of me.

Katherine led me down a hallway into a  beautiful, albeit sparsely furnished bedroom. Platform bed, nightstand, fishtank. A vaguely impressionist painting on the wall.

I started to ask questions, but she cut me off gently.

“Make yourself completely comfortable.” And with those words, she left the room.

I sat back on the bed. Kicked off my shoes. Listened to the fish tank gurgle.

Moments later, Katherine came back in. Her eyes swept over me.

“You need to be completely comfortable before we can talk.”

“I am. I’m as comfy as can be.” I gestured towards the fish.

“Nice fish tank.”

“No, I meant COMPLETELY comfortable.”

And now, she used sweeping hand motions to gesture completely down the length of her body.

SHE. MEANT. NAKED.

What the hell?

I hightailed it out of there.

On my way out, a beautiful blonde with pouty red lips – A Debby Harry look alike – made eye contact with me.

She gave me a sultry look of half come-hither, half disdain, and half challenging.

(Yes, I know that doesn’t add up, but when a hot blonde gives you a look like that, you forget fractions).

“Another one bites the dust.”

“Excuse me?”

“Run along, little girl. Phone girls make a lot more money than office temps, but you just keep walking.”

“What’s a phone girl?”

Then it dawned on me exactly what a phone girl was. I hadn’t been reading the Village Voice all those months for naught.

“Is this a whore house?”

She and the other 4 women looked at me.

“Well, we prefer in-house escort service, but sure. We say ‘tomato’ you say ‘whorehouse’.”

They burst into peals of laughter.

I ended up taking the job.

Getting naked is a prerequisite to ensure you’re not a police officer. Apparently, if you take all of your clothes off, you cannot be accused of entrapment.

This is not really a correct interpretation of the law, as I later found out.

Katherine loved my youth, my innocence, and especially my inexperience. No bad habits to untrain.

The gentleman callers appreciated seeing a young innocent girl when they entered the establishment.

She valued that my college education allowed me to sound articulate and artful on the telephone.

Best of all, I was adept at handling large quantities of money, balancing out cash and credit card receipts at the end of each shift and was never off – not even by a penny.

I took the job for 2 reasons.

First – the money was extraordinary.

I was paid $10 an hour, and worked a 12 hour shift – noon to midnight.

In addition, I was paid $5 for every “session” booked. On a good day, I walked out of there with $300 in my pocket. In the 90’s, this was a FORTUNE.

Of course, the girls made 3 times as much, but that was to be expected.

These women were very skillful with certain things–manual sex, for example. They know how to finish up a client in well under the hour.

Or, how to “extend” because his hour is almost up and he’s  having such a good time (read: she hasn’t let him actually fuck her yet) he wants to stay for another hour. She’d show up at the front desk wrapped in a towel, looking like a triumphant hot mess, his credit card in hand.

And I’d write in a big fat tip for her, because, well, by this time he’s just crazy about her.

The girls got to keep half of what the house charged for hour ($100 was her split).

They also hustituted the bejeezus out of these men. Even though it was technically against the rules, there were a thousand extras the girls could charge for. You want anal? An extra $300. You want to cuddle? It’ll cost you. Kissing?

Not likely, but some girls might. The other girls hated the “kissers.” They were considered “scabs.” They broke an unwritten rule.

The truth is, as much as the customers wanted to think the girls were really enjoying themselves –  sometimes it was good for the girl, sometimes it was bad – but in reality, it was work. Work is work.

I’m sorry. Every man I ever told this to looked like a kid who just found out there was no Santa Claus.

Even though they made bank, I was never tempted to “jump the counter.” Not ever.

This is not, in any way, a reflection of my feelings towards sex workers, but more a reflection of how clearly I understand myself. How much I revere sex, and its role in human relationships.

Besides, I was fantastic on the phone. Phone girls had this robotic spiel we were instructed to deliver – what was included in the hour (French, straight, 69, etc).

I improvised. The girls loved it. I lured in a lot of business this way.

It was the house policy to call the women “girls,” even though most of them were older than me. Nikki, the “Queen Bee” and highest earner, was well into her 40’s.

As much as it was discouraged, I eventually became friends with some of the girls. After all, they had twelve-hour shifts, and often there was down time.

There’s only so much sitting, smoking, ordering food and watching TV you can do.

If you recall, I said I had two reasons for taking the job.

The other reason was Debby, the blonde who mocked me when I first showed up at East 51st street.

She was close to 30, and was the epitome of NY punk. She toned down this look for the job, but I could tell by her tousled blonde locks, smokey lined eyes, and screaming red lips that she had a rock and roll edge.

She had a little girl face and an incredibly sexy body, The combo was deadly.

Half the customers were in love with her.

Eventually, so was I.

Katherine saw me getting that starry-eyed look whenever Debby was around. She was not happy about it.

“Can I give you a piece of advice? You need to learn not to be taken in by these girls. They’re smart. They’ll chew you up and spit you out. Trust me. I’ve been in this game a long time and I know what I’m talking about.”

Her advice fell on deaf ears.

By the time she got around to saying this to me, I was already smitten with the first woman I would ever fall in love with.

And as it turned out, Debby would be the least of my problems…

Next week:

Tune in for Part 2 of New York Stories: Phone Girl In A Whorehouse

What was your strangest job?
Have you ever known anyone who worked in a brothel? 
Anybody feel like (ahem) sharing their brothel experiences? 
Talk to me.  I’m listening. 

190 responses to New York Stories: Phone Girl In a Whore House

  1. 

    You’ve certainly seen some things in your day…

  2. 

    DAAAMMMNNNN Samara! You have had the craziest life! I will never tell you any of my so called “crazy” stories. You’d just pat me on the head and shake your head. Seriously, you’ve probably got the basis for at least three good books just based on the stuff I’ve read of yours, and I haven’t even read all your posts!

    • 

      I really threw caution to the wind when I was younger, that’s for sure!

      I haven’t even finished telling the rest of this story. Things get even crazier…

      Maybe I should write a book about this. But it was so long ago, I have trouble remembering all the details!

    • 

      She doesn’t do head-patting. If she did, I’d have a bald spot from all the times I’ve revealed my naivete!

      • 

        You are NOT naive.

        I have a sordid past. Anyone’s life seems tame in comparison.

        And now I bake cookies in the suburbs. It all makes sense, somehow.

  3. 

    Wow. What a story – can’t wait for part 2! 🙂

  4. 

    Oooo, a cliffhanger, well, a series anyway, I know I am going to love this journey. Nope, I don’t have any brothel stories, I have had friends in the past who were working girls, though. I was young, ripped and full of venom, I fell in love with every single one of them and was always overly-protective of them. They were very gracious about my naivety and kept me out of most of the trouble I wanted to make on their behalf. I’ve met very few working girls who I didn’t like.

    • 

      Your still overly protective of women, you haven’t changed in that respect!

      Yeah,the women there were very special. Just like anyone else, you know? Just with a different job.

      This will probably have at least 3 parts to it. I think. Haven’t written it yet!

      • 

        You know what would go positively viral? If you and Aussome went post for post trying to out-crazy each other with your past lives…that’s not a book, that’s fuckin’ a TV series right there, sort of like a combination of How I Met Your Mother crossed with the Twilight Zone.

        Oh yeah, I still react before I think whenever I hear/see the women in my life under fire. Lucky I’ve vgot big wings and a hard head.

      • 

        Hahahahaha!

        I think I may be the “Twilight Zone” part of that equation. That’s okay! I lived in New York all those years. I’ll own it!

        Plus, youth leads us to make some really crazy choices. I know you TOTALLY understand that.

        It’s really nice that there are some men that have that whole “protective” thing going on where women are concerned. We need that, we really do. As much as we are strong and independent, we (or at least I) still really need to feel safe. It’s horrible when you feel unsafe around a man.

      • 

        Samara, it’s a pet hate of mine to watch any woman hold herself back because of the men in her life, so many of us have been such monumental arseholes! I’ve managed to pass it on to my 3 boys too, I’ve got mates lined up round the corner to have their girls married them. I thank the good Lord above I only raised one daughter.

        Yep, New York sounds like the Twilight Zone alright. Mind you, where I live is like living in the wild west in the late 1800’s still.

      • 

        You have such love and respect for women, it only makes sense that your sons would be the same way.

        Hopefully, my son will grow up like that, too. I think he’s on the right track.

        Girls lined up to marry them, already, huh? How do the boys feel about this hahahaha?

        The wild west of the 1800’s sounds pretty darn wild, too. Hmmmm…

      • 

        How do they feel? They’re like “Girls, what girls?”…too busy learning to ride their motorbikes like loons.

      • 

        Ohhh, I was just talking to Little Dude today about your boys.

        I said, “how would you like to visit Australia and learn to ride a dirt bike”
        hahahahaha

        He would love your boys.
        Some day, some day.

      • 

        He would love it! Just sent him some photos.

      • 

        Oh, you are too sweet!

        Thank you, Red, my love.

      • 

        We just looked over the photos!!

        LOVED them! Your boys look great!

        (Mad Max hehehehe)

      • 

        Hehehee, send lilDude downunder, we will take good care of him.

      • 

        Don’t think I’m not thinking about it…

        Mama wants to go too.

      • 

        Righto, so here how it goes. Turn up in your summer (our winter), beautiful weather here. LilDude will spend his time learning how to ride a dirt bike like he belongs in Nitro Circus (my boys are all nuts) while Mum will spend all her time learning Australian and drinking beer in theBar…we may even shoot you a camel!

      • 

        I would have to slowly build up my alcohol tolerance.

        I am a complete lightweight. But I suspect if I practice daily, I would learn to hold my alcohol like a proper Australian!

      • 

        Naahh, you’ll be right Love, just turn up, we’ll have you trained up in no time. We’ll even have a Shed Party in your honour. The fucking Prime Minister will know who you are by the time we finish with ya!

  5. 

    Now I want to read the rest of the story. I”ve known a couple of women who worked in brothels. Interesting characters. They were actually quite nice or at least they were to me. lol

    • 

      Were they actual working girls, or “admin” like me?

      I wouldn’t doubt that they were nice. They’re just like anyone else.

      Some are nice, some are awful.

      • 

        They were working girls, they did it on the weekends for extra money to put them through college. I told them hey do what feels right for you…..

      • 

        Did you read about the girl from Duke University who recently outed herself about being a porn star to put herself through college?

        Jennie Saia, a blogger, wrote all about it. She works at that college.

        Sometimes, a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

        The women where I worked? Some were moms, some were in school. They were just trying to make a living.

        It all seems like a lifetime ago. I guess it was!!

      • 

        I hadn’t heard about her, but it doesn’t surprise me. Its a way to make good money.

      • 

        Well, there was whole thing about her. Someone outed her first, I think.

        And then she just came forward and told her story.

        It’s a $60,000 a year college. Her family does not have that kind of money. And if you take out loans like that? And start life with that kind of debt? You’ll never get out.

        She wrote the most incredible article about it. She’s obviously a really intelligent woman, and it’s just a career choice she made.

  6. 

    Not really the same thing, but I’ve considered stripping in the past when I was hard up. Unfortunately I’m as flexible as a deck chair. For some reason I never considered being a phone girl. Too bad.

    Excited for Pt 2…

    • 

      Flexible as a deck chair, hahahaha. You have a great way with words.

      DON’T go off and be a phone girl. I wouldn’t advise it. You’ll see what I mean, after you read Part 2.

      There have to be other ways to make money. I was just trying to make a lot of money fast. But that job was grueling. Those 12-hour shifts – and some of the stuff I saw…
      yikes!

      • 

        I was also desperate for ‘$$$’. I did eventually found a job that didn’t involve my hooha or any reference to it.

      • 

        I don’t know that I was desperate so much as wanting to make LOTS of money.

        I had no problem working lots of hours at all kinds of strange jobs throughout my life. I’ve always been that way.

        I just like knowing I can make a living. Doing whatever. I don’t like depending on anyone for anything.

        It’s better that way. For me, at least.

  7. 

    Great story. But so fucking sad. Sad for the girls. Sad for the men. I can understand why you were never tempted to jump the counter. Looking forward to part 2.

    • 

      I don’t know if “sad” is the right word, John.

      Some of the men were kind of sad. But some were just filled with money and felt like blowing it “partying.” That’s what they called it – these guys would come in and have two and three women for several hours at a time-
      Now that I’m writing it, actually, it does seem sad. Because, it wasn’t real at all for the girls. It was just a big act.

      Yes. Sad. But fascinating, right?

      • 

        Maybe sad isn’t the right word. I’m not sure what the word I’m looking for is that describes sex as commerce. But if two consenting adults agree to do this why should it be any of my business. I think it is really fascinating. I really like your story and being a little sad some people in the world have to trade in intimacy, exchange money for vagina,

      • 

        This is a good thing.

      • 

        It is a testament to skill as a storyteller.

      • 

        I think sex as commerce may have its place in society. In a positive way.

        Maybe a widower who hasn’t the opportunity to meet a woman, and has needs that have to be met? I’m just throwing that out there.

        Not everyone is fortunate enough to never have to pay for sex. I’m guessing you’re one of the lucky ones!

      • 

        You make a good point. I think this might be something I need to think more about. I’ve been fortuneate in the arena of love and intimacy so maybe I should listen to the perspective of those who have had a need to use this kind of service. And those who have offered it. I will have questions after part 2. And I hope there is a part 3. FASCINATING!

  8. 

    I am sort of a bit fascinated by the sex industry so I loved reading this post. I once knew a girl who was a receptionist at a brothel, she said she really enjoyed the job at the time. I look forward to reading part 2.

    • 

      I just finished typing the word “fascinating” in describing this whole phenomenon to a commenter.

      It was fascinating. I saw a lot of really strange aspects of the human condition.

      I liked this job at the time, too. A lot. I loved the women I met there.

  9. 

    Now we’re talking Samara.

  10. 

    Why didn’t they just explain why they wanted your clothes off at the start? It would have saved a ton of embarrassed stares.

    I’m assuming all the extraordinary money was tax free, was it not?

    I’ve never paid for a sexual encounter. If I had, I’d readily and gladly admit it because I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. Mostly, I haven’t because I’m too uptight and repressed. I got too used to spending a lot on a meal and then begging. Sorry but we can’t all be Casanovas. Plus, I like kissing. Call me crazy, but in some respects, it’s even more personal than intercourse.

    We’re trading old New York stories tonight. I just ripped some pages from my old journals again. It’s a hell of a town, ain’t it?

    • 

      Ooh, do you have your old NY stories on your blog? I’ll be right over…

      They weren’t allowed to outright say what they wanted. Nor could the girls even discuss anything with the men until they were “completely comfortable.” Supposedly, it all had to do with the idea of “entrapment.”

      You always talk about begging a girl for sex, but I think you’re just being self deprecating. How much begging could you have had to have done? Stop it!

      I’m with you on the kissing. It is VERY personal. Which is precisely why the majority of the women didn’t do it.

      It was the thing they “saved” for their men. Something had to be sacred, right?

      • 

        I wish I was kidding but I’m not. I was mostly unsuccessful in the ways of love. I had cripplingly low self-esteem, so I rarely tried. I’m not playing a part at all.

        There’s nothing better than that first kiss. Girls are like snowflakes; no two kiss the same.

      • 

        I believe you! But you’re so refreshingly (and humorously) honest about it. Not too many are.

        I’m with you on the kissing thing. That might be the ONLY good thing about being single. Getting to have first kisses.

        I can tell everything about a man with the first kiss. Including whether there will be a second, a third…

      • 

        That’s what sux about first kisses. Only one per customer. God, I haven’t had a first kiss in a long, long time. Celebrating nearly 15 years of fidelity! Do you think that was easy? For EITHER of us?

      • 

        Fidelity doesn’t come naturally.

        My take? It’s harder for men than for women. People hate when I say that, but I feel biologically, that men are gatherer/hunters, and it goes against every cell in their DNA to be faithful, long term.

        It’s a lot of hard work to stay faithful in a marriage, for both parties. I think it helps to take whatever “tingle” you get from a distraction and put it into your marital bed. If that’s possible.

        For what it’s worth, I was faithful to my husband the entire time we were together, from when we started dating on. That was about 15 years, also.

  11. 

    My dream job has always been phone sex operator. (Is that even the correct title?) Anyway, I can tell you that even when I was earning sick, stupid amounts of money at the technology behemoth, I secretly coveted a career having phone sex. <– Did I just admit that out loud??

    I cannot wait to read the rest of this story. You give good blog, Samara.

  12. 

    This is incredible, Samara. I am totally hooked and will tweet this tomorrow while people are awake and need something interesting (like whorehouses) to read about while they’re at work.

    • 

      You are too kind!!

      People do need something to combat the “Mondays” and a good whorehouse story is just the thing…

      Blog sister wife power!

  13. 

    Ok, this is why I’m never writing about my life. I don’t think it all was as exciting and eventful as this half-post. The closest I came to your story was being a phone sex operator in a comedy skit.

    • 

      Okay, THAT I want to read about!

      A phone sex operator in a comedy skit? Aren’t most phone sex operators women?

      Wait, you’re definitely a guy, aren’t you?

      Speaking of hijacking blogs (nice segue), I made one of my silly bantering remarks on Dysfunctional Literacy), and some wingnut blogger went cray cray on me! Go look!

      Maybe HER blog is the one we should abuse…

      • 

        Yep, definitely a guy.
        And I was playing a non-gender-specific phone sex operator outsourced to India.
        I will check out DL, but since you already mentioned this blog here, our hijacking won’t sound completely random, if this blogger reads this post and this comment thread.
        And did you see PMAO is down with the idea?

      • 

        I did not!
        So it’s to be the three of us, is it??

        X-cellent!

      • 

        Well, he made a whole post about it, so we may have a small horde of active commenters taking over some blog, and creating a random mini-Freshly Pressed party there.

      • 

        No!
        I didn’t get a chance to read many blogs in the last 2 days.

        When I write and answer comments, I don’t read. I have to go read this now. Which post???

        Noooo

      • 

        I don’t think I’ll be able to keep up in a conversation discussing Fitzgerald and Chaucer. (I’m not sure I even read Chaucer – my school education, well, just wasn’t focused on English or American literature).
        I did read Great Gatsby a few years ago, and I was not impressed, honestly. I just did not get why this book is considered a classic. The only classical book that I found more disappointing was “On the Road”.

      • 

        Well, really I was just having fun with Jimmy.

        “Oh no you di’int” – how can one even take a literary critique that begins that way seriously?

        And by now, he’s used to me. One week he discussed “The Mists of Avalon” and I simply asked him, “Jimmy, are you gay?”

        But that woman went all WINGNUT on me. I didn’t mean to upset the wonky literary types. Although, I do have a strong basis for the statements I made concerning the relevance of these books in high school literature.

        But people, people, – it’s just blogging. Calm down! She seemed – unhinged to me. All of those comments – except for the ‘crack is wack’ one – she made one after another, after I’d commented.

        Scary. Just a little.

      • 

        Normally, crack is wack attitude wouldn’t stop me from arguing, but I just don’t want to get into arguments about a subject I know little about.
        But I think it’s really great that some people feel so strongly about Chaucer and Fitzgerald, don’t you agree? 🙂 Better that than about Bieber or Honey Boo Boo.

      • 

        She was just so off the rails – I wrote one thing, and when I got the notification, she had already posted 4 comments!

        That’s a little TOO strong for a blog. Especially one where I like to banter with the blogger all the time. He reads my blog, and banters with me on my page, too. It’s fun!

        People take blogging too seriously. Lighten up, everyone!

        Let’s go on that page and start posting about the merits of Honey Boo Boo in the high school curriculum.. I dare you. I double dare you.

  14. 

    This needs to be turned into a TV series a la Breaking Bad. You could be the Walter White of whorehouses… “It started out as just a job. I just needed the money. But by the end, I LIKED it.” 😉

    I’m kidding. But seriously. This is great and intriguing and I can’t wait for more!

    • 

      I DID like working there.

      It was grueling (the long hours) and intense (the stuff I saw there was unsettling to my young eyes) but I really liked the women.

      Breaking Bad is my favorite show EVER. You just became my new blog friend, Yay!

      Thank you for reading, and staying tuned for the next episode!

      • 

        Grueling long hours…unsettling situations that shatter innocence, but still caring about the people…sounds exactly like the meth-making business. You’re the next Jesse Pinkman, new blog friend! Cause ya made it out alive!!!

      • 

        Oh my God, I love Jesse! I have my all-time favorite Jesse bitch moment. When he’s in the wheel chair outside the hospital.
        “So roll me further, bitch.”

        I have not had any meth-making experience, because by the time that got popular I had cleaned up my act. I’m a cookie-baking suburban mom!

        But I had more than enough druggie tales to tell from my sordid past. They just seem…more commonplace.

  15. 

    So things have come full circle, in a way.

    When I started blogging ten years ago, one of the people I followed wrote about working as a phone sex operator. (Yes, I realize that such is different from working as a phone girl in a whorehouse. But I digress.) And she has natural red hair. But the similarities end there.

    Hannah lived in Florida (now, I have no idea). We were all part of an organization that played rock, paper, scissors while pretending to be wizards, vampires, werewolves and the like. (Live Action Roleplaying. Heh.) And she thought fan fiction of Snape buggering Harry Potter was funny as hell.

    • 

      I’m sure working as a phone sex operator provided a LOT of material for blogging.

      Yes, we redheads are born troublemakers, I suspect. Me, Aussa…we’re a cray cray groupl

      Rock, paper scissors – hahahaha. Great comment!

      • 

        Thank you! It was indeed the method we used to determine outcomes– then the company switched to playing cards to better match dice rolls (i.e., draw cards in hand– a partial deck of casino cards worked fine). Much more awkward, actually. Except, we did have one dude that was skilled at sleight of hand and he could draw any card he wanted at random.

      • 

        THAT is totally unfair.

        Better to stick with rock, paper, scissors. Or the more statistically precise eenie, meenie, minie, moe?

  16. 

    Once upon a long long time ago there was a young naive man, full of high moral’s who wanted to do good for society. He joined the police. Learnt about enforcing the law & in the course if duty shot a man dead as he tried to rape a woman. Messed up he left this profession severance pay in hand and went into a new ‘business venture’ with a good friend. They rented & did up a choice house, hired girls, put the word about, & then organised a very select pre-opening party (the girls, the ‘business venturers’ x 2 & no one else) There then followed a very intense cathartic & educational event for this young naive man. The business venture focus changed at the end of the party. “…& that’s as much I want to say about that…”

    William Burroughs takes a lot of you in the reading.

    “Work is work is work” We all either exploit or are exploited I guess. Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today. But if you for a rise, its no surprise, they’re giving none away (& now I’ve an ear worm singing full throated volume in my head. Nice)

    Thanks, friend

    • 

      As usual, your comment is full of images and ideas and I want to know more about that which you do no want to say…

      Yes, I read so much growing up. My life early on was not nearly as interesting as the reading material I cut my rebellious teeth on.

      Pink Floyd? Nice ear worm.

      • 

        First saw PF at Knebworth (1975? good grief!) I remember , sort of, a plane crashing into the stage at the end (staged) I was there, but wasn’t. I think you will understand.

        As for what is not said, maybe another time lol

      • 

        My first Pink Floyd experience was Madison Square Garden, which is a major New York venue. 1987.

        I got lost in the stairwells, like so many others at Pink Floyd concerts. I think you will understand.

        No worries about the unsaid. Some things are better left that way.

  17. 

    I was browsing YouTube clips of that knebworth gig just out of curiosity some time ago. Imagine my shocked surprise when I saw a photo of myself lying on the ground eyes closed. Really weird. I’d be 14 then. I might see if I can re-find that

    Voiceover advert to Pink Floyd.

  18. 

    The sex industry is fascinating. I had a friend who would always fall hard for strippers at a club every single time he had more than two drinks. I mean they always took him for everything he had in his pockets and he didn’t want to hear anybody try to tell him that he was being played. Lol. I bet that happens a lot.

    • 

      Hey, you!

      Well, if you read my “Naked at the Club” post, you’ll find that yes – it’s all an act with strippers. And guys fall hard for what is really just an illusion – the lighting, the makeup, the outfits – a lot of women could look like that. You’d be surprised what these women look like when they’re not working.

      Falling for prostitutes is a little different I think – you can really form an emotional bond through sex. And there’s not a lot of smoke and mirrors, as far as what they look like. What you SEE is what you GET.

  19. 

    I’ve never been in the same position you just described. It certainly made for an interesting story. Anyway, not sure I’d do well at it. With my molestation and all, I think I might actually lose money rather than make it. Anyway, I don’t feel equipped to judge. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, some of which I’ve written about. None of them has been anywhere as dramatic as yours or Aussa’s, but at the time, they kept me busy. Love you, Samara. I hope I’m not about to read how you were raped or something.

    • 

      Oh, God no – no rape story in this post.

      This was just a crazy job choice I made, back when I was too young to know any better – and in New York, abnormal things seemed…normal.

      You start to get a very skewed sense of reality once you enter the world of the sex industry. It seemed totally normal to work there, after a while.

      Thanks for reading, Cimmy, even if it touches an uncomfortable place for you.

      • 

        I’m a storyteller, myself, Samara. We collect interesting tales from all over the place. It’s not something I can help, or ever intend to try fixing. 🙂

  20. 

    Yes, there was a phone sex girl who was also a bartender in a strip club.
    She called me when she was setting up a surprise party for someone I used to be friends with. No, I am not telling the story. Except to say that hearing her voice, and seeing her in person, got two very different responses from me.
    Nice girl though.

    • 

      Well, I wasn’t a “phone sex girl” hahahaha.

      A receptionist in a whore house doesn’t actually have sex on the phone. Although I’m not passing judgement – I knew some girls who did that.

      This one woman I know who was a phone sex girl – yes, you would have gotten a totally different impression from her in person than on the phone. TOTALLY.

  21. 

    I am riveted. I cant wait for next week.

  22. 

    I may or may not have learned anything from this post… I have been around… but I enjoyed the hell out of it…

  23. 

    I will never be a rebel like this…god I’m boring…
    Such a great story. It’s like watching one of those HBO docs and I can’t wait for part 2…

    *pops popcorn sits on couch in stasis til the next installment*

    • 

      You are NOT boring- no one who writes like you could be boring.

      A sordid past is not necessarily interesting. But it does make for good blogging.

      *pops popcorn getting ready to write next installment*

      • 

        Yay! I’m invested in the romance arc with Debbie Harry. I’ve named you Debara.

      • 

        She was the ruination of me.

        Never trust a blonde with an angelic face and a hot body. It’s a lethal combo.

      • 

        Werd.

        I don’t have experience with hot blondes so I will substitute my dalliances with musicians.

        Kind of the same thing? Maybe?

      • 

        Oh, geez, all I ever dated were musicians. There’s something about a guy holding a guitar-
        Supposedly it’s very phallic.

      • 

        Btw, I automatically love anyone who spells it “werd.”

        You are so ridiculously cool; you’re like WordPress’s best kept secret. Not that you’re a secret. But you are one of the smartest, funniest bloggers out there.

        Werd.

      • 

        Shhhh…
        I won’t be cool anymore if you tell everyone 😉

  24. 

    Oh man. I was JUST telling a friend that I should become a dominatrix. I would be amazing at it. No sex, just other stuff. Or maybe a sex therapist for women. It is a shame how many women don’t have orgasms. It’s a crime! Anyway, blondes will get you. I have a huge crush on a blonde that works for my company. Unfortunately, she has a girlfriend. *sigh*

    • 

      This blonde was lethal. She broke my heart…

      You really think you could pull off the dominatrix thing? Some of the women did that, although it was not our specialty. They always said the upside was that they didn’t have to have actual sex with the men.

      Spoiler alert: I have a little dominatrix story coming up in part 2!

      • 

        I’ve done the dominatrix thing non-professionally. I can pull it off really well. I hear I am intimidating even when I am trying to be nice (in person). Plus I am 6’1″ and fit. It works.

      • 

        6’1″? Holy shiz! You’re a tall one! Wow!

        How did that dirty kracken ever get away with anything on you? You could most likely have flattened him like the proverbial pancake…

      • 

        Well, the most recent one was 6’4″ and 280. But I have sworn off men that tall. I want to date a hobbit.

        PS I am posting something in the next day or so that Aussa thinks you will like. I am too dumb to figure out how to email you to tell you some other way.

      • 

        You’re in my reader; I have about 200 blogs in my reader, so stuff gets lost in there!

        But I will be on the lookout for it!

  25. 

    Hello! Oh wow. I honestly can’t say I worked interesting jobs or strange jobs. That part where you wrote about how you had to be “completely comfortable” reminded me of the movie Sleeping Beauty (2011). Not the entire movie though, just the part where she went for an interview for an erotic job. I won’t say more just in case you haven’t seen it, but it was an interesting movie, slightly disturbing. To me anyway, but my imagination often gets a life of its own and I envision more than just the movie alone haha.

    I’m awaiting part 2! I better get a snack or two ready. Maybe a drink as well. And I’m following your blog! I thought I already hit “follow” when I visited you last week. How rude of me!

    Have a lovely day, lady! Ciao ciao

    • 

      I’m so happy you’re following me, TJ (is that what you like to be called?) I subscribed to your blog as well. I’ve been a big fan of yours since you did a wonderful painting for a mutual friend of ours.

      I’ve heard Sleeping Beauty is not quite the fairy tale as we remember it. Perhaps I will see it, after all…

      You paint so beautifully and have such a rich inner life it seems as though you’ve lived a million lives.

      • 

        Oh thank you so much! Ah the Miyazaki painting, huh? Forgive me that I’m so slow with connecting with you. I got to know so many lovely people because of it, but it was also a blur as I replied to every comment scattered around the web. Your name stuck in my head, but I never got around to visit your site. I also met Deanna and she visited some interviews I did and left a comment that we both lived in Europe. I remember that I kept asking her where she lived haha.

        It’s indeed not a fairy tale story. Not sure how I stumbeld upon it now.

        Ah you’re so sweet. I so love how you said that about the “inner life”. To be honest, it captures it perfectly how it feels while I paint. Weaving in and out of paint layers until it’s completed. Sometimes it does feel like you’re peeking in lives you don’t know yet. Do dreams count as having odd jobs and situations? I’ve had plenty of those 🙂

        I’m SO happy we finally connected everywhere on the web! xoxo

      • 

        Same here about connecting – yes, that was the painting.

        But you never answered – is TJ what you respond to? Or is that short for something?

        See, I stumbled onto truth when I spoke of your rich inner life. I know art; at least, I know what I like and what has depth.

        xo,
        S

      • 

        Oh whoops! TJ is my artist name/nickname. It stands for my real name and my mom’s last name. Lubrano is my dad’s name. Most people tend to switch between the two, so you can use whatever feels right for you. I’ll respond to either one haha. 🙂

        Your comment brightened up my day! So thank you again. xoxo

  26. 

    Me and my boring jobs. Boo!
    I want fun stories like this!!!
    I wouldn’t have to resort to writing fiction then. 😉

    My jobs have been all over the place – book store, temp on a navy base, human resources department for UCSD, video technology group for the UCSD, Med School, front office temp for the Med School, and then ten years of various jobs in the mortgage and banking industries. Boring, boring, boring.

    Well. I do like my current job.

    And the job on the navy base was… interesting. A lot of it was boring. I had to count and weigh fragments that had been collected from an exploded bomb casing. But, I also go to watch that bomb go boom, so… it was a fair trade off.

    • 

      Watching the bomb go boom- now THAT sounds like a blog post title.

      Forget fiction. With some of the stuff you and others write, I’ve decided I’m way too intimidated. Do you ever do the Tipsy Lit challenges? Last week’s winner made me realize writing fiction is a hopeless endeavor.

      I had no moral compass or sense of fear when I was younger, and did one bizarre job after another. Ahh, the follies of youth!

      • 

        I remember having no sense of fear. And, I remember not feeling like I had a moral compass, but knowing my parents did and not wanting to disappoint them too much. A little bit was okay, but if I crossed the line too far… well, I didn’t want to know what that meant.

        The bomb story sounds entertaining, but it really wasn’t. We were in a bunker, a safe distance a way. The casing was being stress tested, basically, and it wasn’t supposed to explode. So, everyone else was really sad when it did. I was trying to hide my excitement. Watching on a screen, there was a flare and then it went dark. The clap rolled through a second later. And the concussive wave was a mild earthquake at best. I’ve been through stronger joltings of the earth, that’s for sure. It was over in half a second, before I really had time to process what had happened. Boom. End of story.
        I haven’t done any of the tipsy lit challenges. I’ve seen them around, but haven’t felt the urge to try my hand yet. Maybe this week. Maybe next. Who knows where the words will take me. But, I certainly don’t think you should be frightened away from fiction because of what you’ve read there! Writing is writing is writing. We all have different styles and stories to tell.

      • 

        It’s not just Tipsy Lit! It’s all of you fiction bloggers!

        You’re all really good! And you’ve all obviously been doing it a while, and…well, it’s intimidating!! What can I say?

        I don’t want to be the obvious beginner. Maybe I’ll write something and just …sent it to you? For a start?

      • 

        Sure, that sounds good.
        But, you are an amazing writer. There’s no way your fiction is going to sound like a beginner.
        But, yeah, send something my way. Why not.
        Hey, did you ever get the invite I sent over to give you access to the Kingdom for a guest post?

      • 

        I did get the invite.

        Too chicken shit, my friend.

      • 

        Bull honky. Nothing to fear. Accept. Write. Publish. You can do it!!

      • 

        Can I please tell you how much I love “bull honky?”

        I need a prompt. Tipsy Lit isn’t doing it for me this week. I’m going to check out the other links you sent to see if I can get motivated…

      • 

        Yes, you can tell me how much you love “bull honky.” I’m listening…. ?

        Happy hunting. I haven’t even looked at any of the prompts yet for this week. Though, I did sneak a peak at the picture moi has up for the Once More With Feeling prompt – it’s a good one. Might write for that tomorrow.

        Or, an on the spot prompt courtesy of the Jester: why do you feel more comfortable writing non-fiction? why is there such a difference in your mind between fiction and non? Can’t the differences blur as the words hit the page… Start a tale that is true, bend the truths a bit, and then bring it back to the truth… How about that?

      • 

        I don’t even know that I feel comfortable writing non-fiction sometimes. Witness – my latest post.

        It sat in my drafts, toxic. Like poison that needed to be released. So I did. Hoping for some respite from the pain.

        We’ll see if I get any.

      • 

        Comments closed – special is overrated anyway. The best part of life is the journey, the adventure, the ups and downs. The unknowns are terrifying, yes, but they give us the opportunity to challenge ourselves to overcome our fears. *insert additional motivational mumbo jumbo here* You know I could go on and on…
        But.
        The truth.
        You are special. You may not see it. You may not grasp it. It may not be the special you wanted, or expected, or dreamed of. But, your words light a fire within me, and others. You have a gift for expressing your feelings that speaks across generations, across genders, across the blogosphere, and, That Is Special.
        You know how to reach me if you need to talk.

      • 

        I do, and I will. Reach you, that is.

        Thank you.

      • 

        You’re welcome.
        Of course, my friend.

        I’ll let you in on the secret of Jesters everywhere – we only pretend at silliness.

  27. 

    I was the same way, no fear. If something and happened, chalk it up to an experience. I would have taken that job. Good for you for staying on the phone! Can’t wait to read the next part.

  28. 

    Wow, Samara. You’ve lead a fascinating life! I’m not sure I understand the role of a phone girl. Do they lure in customers? Am I totally misunderstanding this? I’ve never known anyone who has worked in a brothel. This is as close as I get, so you got me on edge. I can’t wait for the next part!

    • 

      The “phone girl” is the receptionist who answers the telephone. So sometimes, if they were new callers from ads, I would try to get them to come in. Regulars I would just book appointments.

      Then, when the gentlemen arrived, I would pour them a drink, and introduce them to the ladies (if they didn’t have an appointment) so they could chat in the lounge and make a decision.

      There was a ton of other tasks that went with the job. Kind of like any front office position.

      Sheesh. My life,

  29. 

    Incredible writing, Samara. I’m glad you published it. And fascinating synchronicity, which makes me feel good about my writing today, though mine’s a story.

    I fully expect part two to be as well-written – I was spellbound. But I have a *heart in the mouth* feeling that it’s going to go horribly wrong for you in the next stage! I hope I’m not right…

    • 

      The story can’t have that bad of an ending – I’m still alive, 20 years later!

      The post we were discussing in our group last night- I had to post. I did it.

      I want to take it down.

      I want to delete my whole blog. Delete, delete, delete.

      Maybe, the sister wives of wordpress need to create a different closed group on facebook?
      I feel lost.

      • 

        Sister wives group YES! Let’s make that happen already. You’re doing well and hanging in there. And yes – 20 years later you’re still here, but this still has power….don’t delete. Breathe. You’re okay.

        I’ll make the group…hang on!

  30. 

    This is the first of your posts I’ve read. I’d say I popped my cherry with a good one. Fascinated and definitely coming back for the next piece. Why is sex so damned interesting? Oh wait.

    • 

      Hi you!!

      I’m so excited that you visited my blog! I’ve seen you around and always meant to say, hi because I love your name!

      I have a very dark post up. Not my usual fare. I like to write quirky, funny, sexy posts. About whorehouses, and being the “slut mom” blog, and blow jobs.

      So just skip this latest. And read all the sexy bits on my blog.

      Have a glass of wine! It’s 5:00 somewhere, isn’t it?
      xo,
      S

  31. 

    I love this story. I’m fascinated. I’m jealous – I made $6 an hour in the 90’s!

    • 

      Hi! Welcome to my blog!! Have a glass of wine!

      Well, you probably had a normal job. I was a “bad girl” and took a “bad” job.

      But it was FUN!

  32. 

    If the post is about sex, Cellulitelooksbettertan will be sure to show up. #pervertsunite

    LOVE THIS, my gorgeous sister-wife. What an amazing story to tell. I’m fascinated. Hooked. In like Flynn. Waiting for part II with popcorn. And junior mints. And a coke. (<<my three fantasy foods)

    I've been editing like a mofo so I'm late to the partay. Catching up tonight. xoxo

    • 

      She did! You are right!!

      Whatcha editing? Book? Blog posts?

      Having a rough one today, sister wife. I posted a sad one. I hate writing those. It’s really NOT my thing. I don’t think I’m going to do that anymore.

      I like sex, humor, mystery, intrigue, heartfelt…if that’s not what’s coming out, I may just stay quiet. It’s not a bad thing.

  33. 

    Editing my novel. Trying to push this baby OUT.

    I read your sad post. My heart squeezed for you. You may not be special to that person, but you ARE special to a shit-ton of other people. That person is not worthy of you.

    and you should always write what’s in your heart.

    Heart you big, Samara. xoxo

    • 

      I thought I heard you were writing a novel. Isn’t someone editing it with/for you?

      So exciting!

      • 

        Yeah, I finished it last summer. Then I gave it to Beta readers, one of whom is Mandi from cellulite looks better tan. She’s an IRL very good friend of mine. She is a huge fan of my novel and a genuine cheerleader for me! In October, I handed it over to a professional editor. I just started those revisions the beginning of the year. Mandi has helped with the editing process too. She’s a great sounding board. I trust her so much.

      • 

        What is a Beta Reader?

      • 

        sorry I’m just getting to this! A beta reader is your first reader (s). It’s basically anyone you trust to do a read through and give honest feedback. You can give them specific questions to answer about character development, dialogue, the ending, etc. I chose four people to read mine. I received incredibly helpful feedback, which gave me the gonads to give it to an editor….who turned it inside out, and now I’m busy as fuck trying to do the revisions! UGH. writing is the easy part. editing is where the real work happens.

      • 

        Writing is re-writing.

        I’m so proud of you for writing a novel. Book. I don’t know anything about it.

        Maybe FB is where we should discuss this?

        love,
        SW Samara

  34. 

    Please introduce me to Debby. I would like to meet Debby. And also, I never said this to you before, but you totally sound have a phone sex operator voice. And NO I have never called a phone sex operator. I’m only speaking of stereotypes here. GRRRrraaawwr. Ok see ya. \m/

    • 

      Sound have. It’s a new expression that I made up just for you.

      • 

        Thank you for your compliments – I did do a lot of legit voiceover work.
        But I was never a phone sex operator!! I just answered phones for a brothel! But I suppose having a nice voice helped me in that job..

        I always correct typos in comments, you silly! But I’m keeping in what you wrote, because your cover was really funny.

        Debby would be 50 these days. This was over 20 years ago. You sure about that?

        GRRRrraaawrrr back at you! And this \m/

        Too busy with your growing banner biz to be part of the Alliance – miss you!

  35. 

    Fantastic story. I can’t wait for the next part. I couldn’t even imagine this kind of work. The husband and I watched the Family Guy episode last night where Lois becomes a sex phone operator and he asked me if I’d ever do that. I figured I’d suck at it and probably start laughing, but seriously, I couldn’t imagine myself in that situation. I’m excited to see where this story goes.

    • 

      Thank you for reading!
      I was so young and innocent – the juxtaposition of me in that place – so bizarre!

      Laura – I am hesitant to post the next part. Not discussing this in comments.

      #sisterwives #facebook

      • 

        I went through the same hesitation when I was writing the Crockpot Calamity series. Write it when you are ready. You don’t owe anyone anything – advice I was given from a fellow sister wife.

  36. 

    I finally edited your blog so that they show up on my newsfeed and email! I was about to read part two of this story and thought I’d better find part 1 first. I’m headed over there now. This is quite intriguing!

    • 

      Yay! Welcome! Have a glass of wine!

      Wait- what do you mean, edited it? Was there something wrong with my blog?

      I can’t wait to read more of what you’ve written. I’m really honored to have you here.
      Let me know what you think…

  37. 

    Hi! Thanks so much for writing this! I have just recently started a WordPress blog, and thus far have been extremely careful to only focus on my current life- which in a nutshell is hell. I was diagnosed with an extremely rare nerve disorder, and for the past three years every minute of every day feels like my right ear is being stabbed by someone quite unhappy with me, perhaps my ex-husband.
    I have a unique and interesting past that involved phone sex work, being a paid “girlfriend” and escort and taking uncensored personal ads for the local weekly paper, which usually crossed over similar terrain as my phone sex job. While I have no shame about any of these jobs, nor my sexually promiscuous bisexual adventures, I have been hesitant to share this side of me with anyone- primarily because who I was was turned into and viewed as someone flawed and too open, when my second husband and I nearly divorced several years ago. All of a sudden friends who I thought could keep secrets and my very conservative religious family members were told stories of my sexual side, that I still believe have no bearing in whether or not I am a good mother. Thank you for writing this and giving me the support and kick in the butt to get writing about my whole life, not just the prettily packaged, socially acceptable parts of it.

    • 

      Hi there-
      I do feel like I can talk about my past openly, precisely because it IS the past. I don’t wish to be judged on decisions I made decades to ago, nor do they affect my ability to be a great mom now.

      I will tell you this, though: blogging openly about my sordid past, particularly where sexuality is concerned, does give people a preconceived notion about who I am. It doesn’t define me, but others define me that way. It’s really dumb. But it comes with the territory, I suppose.

      Good luck with your blog and thank you for taking the time to read, and comment!

  38. 

    Awesome read, as always. Brought me back to my days of working at a strip club and watching men enter as men and leave as love struck puppies with empty wallets.

    • 

      You’re young to have caught on to THAT game. It’s amazing how many men get obsessed with strippers. Can’t they just go there for the boobs?

      This was a long story that I broke into 3 parts. The end, Part 4- I just couldn’t write.

      Thanks for liking my blog so much. It really means a lot to me that you do.

  39. 

    wow. you did some crazy stuffs back in your days xD. sounds fun but i don’t think my conscience will let me go that far >.<

    • 

      I went a little too far, a little too often, in my 20’s. I blame New York City. 🙂

      Welcome to my blog! You’ll find lots more crazy stuff from back in the day. Thanks for reading. xoxoxo

      • 

        Thank you 😀
        I’m in WordPress, you’re the first blogger I followed. I’ve read more from your posts. I admire your spontaneous and fun personality. Dangerous, yet, amazing adventures you’ve been through. 🙂

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