Daily Prompt: A Bird, a Plane, You!
- the ability to speak and understand any language
- the ability to travel through time
- the ability to make any two people agree with each other
I think I am two warring souls living within one body.
*other soul nods in agreement* Yes, we are.
There are two of me. They are in constant conflict.
All my life, I’ve saddled the seesaw of contradiction. It hurts my pussy.
On one side: The Mother. The Teacher. The Professional. The Upstanding Citizen. The Good Girl.
On the other side: The Mother Fucker. The Deviant. The Law Breaker. The Slut. The Bad Girl.
I’d like to make them agree, once and for all, on who I am.
It makes life really difficult when one person shows up where the other is supposed to be. They never see eye to eye.
Like when I’m with someone and Bad Girl just wants to fuck him/her six ways til Tuesday, and then Good Girl butts her slut-shaming face in and pussy/cock blocks me.
Reminds me that I’m a mom. That I have a business, and a reputation to uphold. That I have too much self respect to screw someone in the parking lot of a restaurant, regardless of how deliciously hot that scenario is.
Or when Good Girl Mom was teaching her son to ride a two wheeler, and I had to keep squashing down nasty-ass Bad Girl’s remarks: “Get those mother fucking training wheels, off, Pussy Boy! Man up! If you fall, you fall, bitch!”
Good Girl goes shopping, and Bad Girl shop lifts. She shouldn’t do that. If she gets caught, it would not bode well for her. She just can’t help it…she’s really good at it.
Good Girl is tutoring a student, and Bad Girl starts explaining to her how to give a really good blow job. Which is not on the curriculum.
I’m bringing these two to couple’s counseling. If they don’t start agreeing on who I am, I’m ditching both of them and coming up with a completely new, third personality.
Now I just need a really good Superhero name.