No, I Did NOT Intend To Show Up In the WP Reader in my BRA

July 27, 2015 — 109 Comments

n-SHOCKED-GIRL-ON-COMPUTER-large570 edited

This is the kind of stuff that just happens to me.


This is just like Saturday, when my Ex and the Cute Guy texted me at the EXACT same time. I have to be go under general anesthesia at the dentist this morning, and my Ex texted, asking “Do you need me to drive you to the dentist on Monday?” at the exact same time that the Cute Guy texted, “Are we gonna watch movies tonight?”

And I may or may not have texted my Ex, “As long as you bring that big cock over here for me to suck.”

While my Ex was no doubt jumping up and down because he had just won “Ex wife fellatio lottery,” I racked my brains to come up with the most clever plausible excuse. My gazelle-like reflexes came to the rescue with “Jk.”

I’m sure it would make an exceptional porno movie plot, though. En route to the dentist to have what will no doubt be the most excruciating oral surgery of my life, I just have to have my EX, of all people, put his penis in my mouth. Ooh baby.

But I digress.


I work HARD on my post images. I search for a long time for a photo, one that I’m not stealing from anyone. Then, I upload it to iPiccy which is Photoshop for the artistically challenged.

I then tinker with a gazillion effects until I get the one I want. I’m not a graphically inclined person, so It’s more of me just clicking on every effect going, “Whee! Look at THAT! Ooh, cool!”

Very much like when I was on hallucinogenics in college, holding a cigarette and waiting for the ash to turn green. And then waving it around so it would make all those cool trails in the sky.

And it was really hard to post that picture of myself in this blog, so there’s no WAY I’d use one for a post image! It’s a super cool bondage bra from Nasty Gal, and meant to be seen, but NOT IN THE WORDPRESS READER. (By the way, don’t EVER hashtag your outfit on Instagram with #NastyGal. You’re welcome)

Like most women, I am beseiged with body image issues. STOP – don’t tell me how I look to you. There are a million ways to make a photo look good before you post it online and I USED EVERYONE SINGLE ONE OF THEM. TWICE.

So I was pretty freaked out when I clicked into the WordPress reader to catch up on posts and HOLY HELL, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I have no clue how that happened. I know if you post a video, it will automatically supersede any image you have as your post image and appear in the reader.

I also know that when you share to stupid Facebook, they just grab whatever image they want out of your post to accompany your story as the thumbnail. It’s damned annoying.

I’ve actually learned how to deal with that, by running the link through something called a “URL scrubber.” I giggle maniacally every time I use it, because “scrubber” is what we used to call slutty girls when I was in high school.That, and “hua.” Not “Hua,” a state in ancient China that was destroyed by the Qin Dynasty.

To fully understand how we used it, for your viewing pleasure, The Ralph Cifaretto Whore Tribute. 

And now, I actually know that because I added this video, it will APPEAR AS MY POST IMAGE! Take that, WordPress, you hua!


But other than that, I’m clueless about all things techie. Hence, the mystery of why the bra shot showed up in the Reader.

When people start saying stuff like,”To optimize your site’s PageRank flow, use special no-index code to tell search engines to not index these pages and add no-follow code for all links to them,”

I just hear “Blerghity blergh de blerghin blerrgh.”

I know, I KNOW! I should have been learning this stuff at BlogHer, but I was too busy flirting with bloggers, Minions, random guys in the elevator, and McHunks serving us the food at the closing party. I have no memory of that last one, but Gunmetal Geisha claims she has photographic evidence. Of course she does.


So, today I will be have to be to knocked out by the oral surgeon lady to carve out my impacted wisdom tooth. She tried for HOURS, but couldn’t extract it and I kept getting un-numb. That’s a redhead thing, by the way. We are resistant to anesthesia. And it’s right next to a very sensitive root canal tooth.

She may just take out both, which pisses me off! I’m the goddamn poster child for dental health! I was 21 years old before I had my first cavity, that’s right! 21!

She’s very mean, by the way. She is short tempered and curt and a sadist and I think she and the lady who wax my vag should go out on a date and bash each other in the mouth and rip each other’s pussy hairs out.


So, hopefully I’ll survive this procedure and if they give me really good drugs, I may even publish again.

Maybe WordPress will just magically make a picture of me in my panties appear in the goddamn reader this time.



Does your blog do glitchy stuff like that? Can you deal with it yourself?
Have you ever had to be put to sleep for dental surgery?  Did they at least give you good drugs afterwards? 
Talk to me. I’m listening. 

109 responses to No, I Did NOT Intend To Show Up In the WP Reader in my BRA


    I have to have an impacted wisdom tooth pulled next month. I do awful with anesthesia also, fellow redhead. I hope it goes smoothly and pictures of your panties don’t appear anywhere you don’t want!


    As soon as I saw that image, the first thing I thought was “I don’t think Samara intended that to happen.” Regardless, I’m sure that image was much more effective in “optimizing your page’s rank-flow” than any special “no-index code.”


      Thank you for believing in me!

      But whyyyy did it happen? WordPress has gremlins.

      Meanwhile my views are down today. Can I add your red thong picture to optimize my blerghity blergh?


        I am constantly annoyed by the image that is pulled for my posts on all social media platforms. It’s NEVER the one I want! Except for that time it pulled a photo of you in a Naughty Girl bra. I have no idea how that happened…

        And sure, feel free to use the thong photo. It’ll probably show up anyway.


        It’s “Nasty Gal!”
        Please. The last thing I want to be is associated with lingerie called “Naughty Girl!”

        Nasty Gal is better. It’s that whole “gal” thing. Raises the cuteness factor.


        Hahaha! I suppose you’re right. “Nasty” has a better ring to it. And “Gal” alludes to being a full-blown woman… wait, did I just say “blown?”


        Yes, which is why I love you.

        That, and the red thong. 🙂


    I would be that person with the unintended bra shot as well! And not to brag but I’m 39 and have never had a cavity! Teeth are so important, be brave and good luck!


      39 and NO cavities? I thought 21 was impressive!

      Ugh. The unintended bra shot. I looked like a real hua.

      Thanks for reading, xo!

    You might find this interesting. Or not. I had my wisdom teeth yanked a few years ago. I kept the teeth.


      I’ve had the ones on one side pulled, like 20 years ago. I remember after I was in so much pain I wanted to die.

      I said I was heading over to your blog, so this is as good a reason as any! xoxo


    WP accidentally posting a picture of me in my bra is my new worst nightmare. So bummed I missed it!


      Right? Like I don’t have enough shit to worry about? I hesitated before even putting the picture in my post, because my bra showed. And then WP chooses THAT pic to put in the reader?

      I’m switching to self hosted. Then I’ll have no one to blame but myself. xoxo

      (P.S. #RawrLove)


    Most mistakes may be our own damn how to repel an ex. any who most issue on WP are their mistakes.
    Did you also check your twitter. the quirk do not end on WP. If you automatically share on twitter you picture will be uploaded there as well.
    yeah we learn the hard way.

    As for a dentist no harm done there but that must be me the freak. Rather seeing a dentist than a doctor any day.

    Ps the outfit in total rocked.


      Ohh, lovely. Yes, I DO share my posts on Twitter. So THAT’S why I got all those new followers? I thought it was my clever tweets. Ha.

      Thanks for reading, and for your compliment about my outfit. xoxo


    When I was younger “whore” sounded so foreign that it actually seemed incorrect. “Hua” was what the women in Glenwood Houses all called other women. Funny but my husband can’t even say it right – maybe it’s a “southern” NYC-thing?


      It’s an urban thing, I think, but to be honest – probably something said by people who grow up in shitty neighborhoods.

      Where were the Glenwood Houses, again?


        Technically Canarsie – right across the street from (what used to be) South Shore HS. Glenwood and Farragut Roads intersected by 57th & 58th Streets and Ralph Ave.


        Okay. So, it’s safe to say, it wasn’t the best neighborhood in the world. You’re a project girl too!!

        I looked them up. Glenwood has twice as many buildings and apartments as where I grew up, (Stapleton), but interestingly enough, about the same number of residents.

        Ugh. Don’t know about you, but I hated the projects. Still hate them.


        Buildings were 6 floors with about 5 or 6 apartments apiece. It wasn’t bad – we had a good mix of ethnicities. I’m nostalgic about it but I probably wouldn’t live there for free these days.


        I guess you could say I’m nostalgic about my project childhood, if by “nostalgic” you mean, I wake up screaming in the night with bad dreams. ha!


        LOL same goes for me but blame that on the roaches 😀


    Haha, so much haha! I’ll still say I think you looked great. I’ve had a few posts where the image I selected is not the one that showed up on FB. I care, but not enough to figure out how to fix it.
    I’ve been under twice for dental surgery. Different surgeons, neither a sadist. Surgery was fine, recovery was not.
    I’ve had a lot of bad dentists, but none of them were as mean as their hygienists. GD.
    My current dentist is a white-haired man whose hands shake, but he’s KIND. My hair is auburn, although sometimes it sure looks red, but I’m a brunette. Anyway, this kindly old man dentist says the more red in the hair the more shots. He said somethin about, “Give me a red-headed mama, they can take the pain” and I was all, “WHA?!?” But he explained. Told me the redder the hair the yellower the teeth, too. This applies to me,and also to 12, who is strawberry blonde.
    I told him this made a lot of sense, because I loved my endodontist, who had the IV pain pump thingy. He left it in my nerve the entire time, and whenever I started to feel, he could kick it up. Best pain management everrr.
    Do not suck anything after dental surgery. Not even a straw. Don’t even think about sucking. Don’t drink anything carbonated. Don’t rinse your mouth and spit vigorously. You will get dry socket and wish you were dead. xo


      WHY does my endodontist not do this kind of thing? Where do I find one who will just attach an IV pain pump to me? I have a half finished root canal, and a half finished impacted wisdom tooth, both half done because it was taking hours and I wouldn’t stay numb enough! Now they have to knock me out to work on these teeth.

      I found out about the redhead thing when I had to have a biopsy done at the dermatologist, and they could NOT get the area numb enough. They had to jack me up with so much anesthesia that I was in pain for days after, from the needle jabbing into my head repeatedly!!

      I thought dry socket was a complication from a root canal. I can get it after any kind of dental surgery? FML.


        Dry socket is a risk when they pull teeth, because anything that can remove the blood clot exposes the nerve, and that is some whammo pain.
        I’d call around if I had need of another endo. I’m tellin you, it costs way more, but if you have good insurance, the IV in your mouth is the way to go!


        I have shit insurance. And because of it, the the worst dental facility in America.

        They cancelled on me because the sedation room had a leak. They suck, and not in a good way.


    At least it was a damn fine bra, and not, like, say, the laundry day bra.


    Wait…you’re not supposed to steal pictures from the interwebz? Ergh. Color me embarrassed. I love a good cock story. Seriously. There aren’t enough opportunities in life to use that word. I like to drop it during dinner parties. Just for fun. “Can you please pass the cock.” Anyhoo. LOL’d over this post, as always.


      There AREN’T, right? Maybe we could form a group on Facebook, if I ever come back, to help develop new and original ways to work “cock” into the conversation. “I have no clean laundry today, so now I have to wash my cock.”

      Please invite me to your dinner parties.


    You’re crackers.

    Which is good.


      Just crackers, without the cheese?

      I bought REALLY good cheese at an Italian specialty store for my friend when he was coming over. A guy named “Anthony” sold it to me, so you know it had to be good.


    You’re adorable, Precious. And I won’t say anything about your body if you don’t say anything more about mine, hot stuff :p


    Yes! I have had the pictures switched on me on Reader and it sucks!! I can’t say that it was a pic of me in a bra, but definitely not the one I wanted featured. That was an awesome outfit though and it needed to be seen by all! 🙂


      Ohh! Now I’ve heard this happening to several people! WordPress needs to fix that! I really do work hard on those images and I want them in the Reader!

      Who do we call about this?! (Haha as if there’s ever a way to speak to a live person)


    I miss all the good stuff. Damn.


    How on earth did I miss that picture?


      It was in the reader on Friday I think? I was mortified!
      I’m still kinda mortified but I also see the humor in it.


        Found it. You look delicious!
        Though I’d be just as freaked out if it happened to me, I’m smiling ear-to-ear. Does that make me a bad person?! 😉


        Not at all. 🙂
        Look, if we can’t laugh at this stuff, how will we get through life?

        I wrote about it, so clearly I was not SO horrified by it or I wouldn’t have drawn attention to it. However, my real purpose in posting this was in the hopes that someone would have answers as to why it happened. I’m not on Facebook any more, and the help section of WordPress is useless.



        IMO, WordPress support is useless too. Try asking them a question and they will just pretend you don’t exist.


    I posted a picture of my butt – all bruised from my first bdsm experience. It was at the bottom of my post so that it wouldn’t be the first thing someone saw and yup,
    there it was in all its gory glory as my featured image :/
    Lost me a couple readers actually who were offended (I don’t usually post pics like that, to say the least).


      Why would people who read you be offended? You’re very sexually open in your blog.

      People are way too judgey.

      Anyway, so you know what I’m talking about. And who knows why that even happened? WP has gremlins! Ones that like boobs and butts. I think…


        Hey Samara – I may have just “prattled on” in response to another comment, so sorry about that!!

        People are way too judgey – and in my case this was a truly isolated incident and for someone to have been reading all my other stuff and having a sense of who I am and then drawing a conclusion about me based on one post? Seems rather narrow minded.

        What I didn’t realize what that it could be triggering for some – one friend in particular clarified his negative reaction related to the abuse of his mother. He absolutely recognized it wasn’t the same but said he has a hard time seeing bruises.

        I found the whole thing rather interesting especially when nobody complained when I put up a boob pic (on purpose)!!


        I have many wonderful online friends in the erotica community who have educated me regarding the BDSM lifestyle, so your exploration of it would not upset or offend me in the slightest. In fact, I’m titillated by it.

        I do understand, though, why a picture of a very bruised ass might rattle someone. Let me qualify. I love erotic photos. However, if it was a VERY bruised up breast or ass, I wouldn’t personally find that appealing. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t understand it if it was accompanying the story. But seeing it as the post image, first thing, would jar me.

        Never apologize for prattling in my comment section. Ever. As long as no one is verbally abusive, I encourage free speech here. xoxoxo


      I hate to play this out in Samara’s sandbox but I’m sure she won’t mind.

      I wasn’t offended. I found it deeply disturbing. Posting a pic of you having been beaten black and blue and then prattling on about how thrilling and exciting it is carries the stench of low self-esteem and sadness. I could never lay a hand on a woman like that and any man who gets a sexual charge out of beating a woman that severely should have his fucking face smashed in with a bat. If that’s your thing, more power to you. Or, more accurately, less power to you. I don’t know anything about that world and I don’t WANT to know anything about it. It’s depressing. But I wasn’t offended.


        I’m glad you wrote it here because if it was on my blog I would be far less polite given how your comment makes me appear to someone who isn’t familiar with me and my writing.

        First of all, don’t demean my writing by saying I “prattle”. Second, I have written over 525 posts on my blog and only two of them have explored the one small component of my sexual journey which involved BDSM. Two explorations in two years. Third, you well know I do not have self esteem issues. The entire thing was my choice and it left me feeling more empowered, not less.

        I won’t even touch the discussion about kinks and non judgment. Clearly you aren’t open to it.

        But despite anything else, the thing that bothers me the most and why I subsequently emailed you when you announced on my blog I had now lost you as a reader? As someone you’ve been reading for a while and even have met in person – when I wrote something that makes you think I’m going down a wrong path, is your response really to say “goodbye; I don’t like what you just wrote about”? I guarantee you my friend if the tables were turned I would have been emailing you asking you if you were okay.


        Well, clearly, you’re a better and more evolved person that I can ever hope to be, but that’s my cross to bear. To lump that post in with the other 524 is in error. Not all posts are equal. I found the images so graphic and so horrific that they actually made me wince. I can’t get past them. Why would a person subject themselves to that kind of treatment? Worse, how can someone do that to another human being and sleep at night? You can’t un-see something that leaves a scar. You can’t un-ring a bell.


        Well, I guess I care for people I feel are friends in a different way.

        I could point you to the posts that talk about what interested me in it. I could remind you I bruise very easily. I can’t speak for Doms but they have blogs around here.

        As I said, I was sorry you’ve chosen to not engage or read based on one situation. I miss you.


        I hope the two of you can resolve this. I like you both very much, and I hate to think that one very bruised ass picture ended a friendship.


    I had four impacted wisdom teeth that needed to come out. Let’s just say there were a lot of drugs involved.
    When they put the IV in me for the anesthesia, the surgeon was just chatting with me, knowing that in a minute I’d be knocked the fuck out. I would’ve loved to see a video of me casually telling him about what I’m majoring in and halfway through a sentence just fluttering my eyelids and passing out without even realizing. Much funnier than David After Dentist in my opinion.


      So you were put to sleep for it?

      These idiots actually cancelled it because there was a leak in their sedation room. They rescheduled for 2 weeks from now. So now I get to be anxious over this for the next 2 weeks.
      Thanks for reading xoxo


    I’ll let someone who knows more about WP correct me, but the image the reader (or social media) will pick is based on image size (I believe…that’s a rumor I heard). The only way I’ve ever gotten around it is to use the “featured image” option. In my dashboard, it’s towards the bottom of the page when I create/write a post – before and after I hit publish. It will let you choose the specific image you want to use. On social media, I know it uses that image instead of a random one from your post. I *think* it does the same in WP reader. Not an expert…just a lot of trial and error.

    Okay, so now that I got the boring stuff out of the way…ugh, wisdom teeth suck. I had my top two out last year – no need for anesthesia, though. Damn. And I’m 35 and have never had a cavity.

    Oh, and no, penis-in-mouth right before oral surgery probably isn’t a good idea.

    And I think it’s a requirement of dental professionals and vagina-waxing professionals to be sadistic. Guess it helps that I’m a masochist. 🙂


      Yes, despite my tech-impaired condition, I do know about the image size thing. I always make sure the post image is the largest one I use. I wish that was the answer, because I’m the kind of person who’s like a dog with a bone when I don’t understand something. Grrrr.

      Also, if I use the featured image thing, my post image appears at the top twice – in a small thumbnail size, and the regular size, Haven’t figured that one out, either.

      You’ve NEVER had a cavity?? At 35? I now crown you “Goddess of Dental Health.”

      HOW did you have wisdom teeth out without anesthesia? Mine are impacted, so I couldn’t possibly. But even if they weren’t – you had tooth pulled without numbing the area? How? Is this an X rated discussion? If so, please go on…


        And this is why I shouldn’t comment before I’m awake. I was definitely numb when they took the teeth (both impacted) out…but I wasn’t knocked out. And the worst sound in the world, now that I know, is the sound of the grinding, pulling, whatever the hell they do on your teeth when they pull them out. /shivers Not. Cool.

        Well, it’s about time I was the goddess of something. Guess dental health is as good as anything. 🙂


        You, my friend – in my opinion? – are the Goddess of so many things.


        Awww, now you’re just makin’ me blush…I like it! 😉


        I consider making you blush quite an accomplishment!


        Ha! It’s easier than you think. 😉


    You have body image issues. I have low self-esteem. As Bukowski put it, scramble two.

    Doesn’t your son know about this site? Do I have that wrong? Wouldn’t it kind of, sort of, RATTLE him a bit?

    I had a girlfriend who NEVER had a cavity. Not one. I used to make her open her mouth so I can gaze inside at nothing but white teeth. I think it must have rattled her a bit because she dumped me for a med student.

    I thought the Cute Guy link would lead to Exile on Pain Street. A fella can dream, can’t he?


      I don’t think I know one single woman who doesn’t have body image issues. We’re brainwashed by the advertising industry and the magical powers of airbrushing technology.

      Little Dude thinks I write an education blog, which I actually did – when I first started blogging. I’m always worried that he may somehow stumble on this some day. Do you worry about the same thing with your kids? Since they don’t even know you blog, the chances of them finding you online are pretty slim.

      You are VERY cute, by the way. Handsome. The Cute guy is much too young for me. I prefer older men. Always have. 🙂


    Well damn! I missed the bra in the WP reader! Probably because I get your posts via e-mail and I haven’t looked at the reader since before…I dunno.
    This made me laugh right out loud.
    My hubby is bummed you’re not on FB anymore. Then I showed him my Instagram and he’s all better again.
    Hope that toothy visit turned out okay.
    I’m done rambling now–gonna go read this again 🙂


      I have the world’s worst dental facility. My insurance plan sucks, that’s why. Thank you, Obama. They cancelled on me because their was a leak in their sedation room.

      I adore you. You make me feel so good about myself. Thank you for that. xoxo


    I just love you so much. I’m not GLAD this happened, but I’m kind of glad because that means I’m not the only one who does stuff like this. Well, not exactly this..but same ballpark.


    Um. You need to read my post from today. Not because it’s particularly good, but because between the two of us, we are a goddamn internet sensation. I’m kind of pissed that I missed the picture. I almost posted mine yesterday, with a handbra pic. Yep. Then I remembered that I was employed. Ah well….

    I’m sure your pic was lovely. 🙂


    I had to have all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed when I was 20 and I felt so good when I woke up that asked the nurse where I could get some more of the drugs lol


    Oh my god. Late night hyena guffaw here. Blerghidy blergh bleighy. Seriously, dying. I need to have it deciphered. What the hell is “no index”?

    And the dentist and vag waxer — honestly, they should. They freaking should do exactly what you said.


      I don’t KNOW what that stuff means! I TOLD you – it just sounds like fake Dutch.

      I probably should have attended some sessions that explained that stuff. But I had Minions to kiss…


    Nooooooow I know what you were talking about! Ugh. I’m so behind on reading, my head’s been up my own writing ass this week. The last post I read of yours was about BlogHer and I couldn’t bring myself to comment because I was jealous. Yeah. I said it. I was a big baby because you went to BlogHer and met aaaaaalllll these bloggers and now they know you and are best friends with you and I got all huffy and pouted. *crosses arms* I’m ok now. And basically, I’m commenting on your BlogHer post here and not on the actual thread for that post because I’m going to be difficult. And the reality is I’m so happy that you had fun at BlogHer and met so many awesome people. <That's my mature side talking. My immature side is still pouting.


      Awww, G Kelly, you’re still my bestest friend!
      I hope we get to go to a blog conference together some day. I enjoyed the hell out of it! I think maybe Blog U next year?

      I’m behind on reading AND writing. Always.


    Aw, that’s the worst. I’ve been struggling with awkward typos since I came back (rusty), but so far I haven’t publicized pictures of myself in my bra, so you win. Though the bra is wonderful, and so are you, so it couldn’t have been all bad.

    Let’s see, no-index codes can’t really be used entirely on sites, but they are important when dealing with your image and can be fixed by introducing a meta tag that indicates a no follow. Easy peasy. I’ll email you.

    Love you– without or without teeth and with or without bras in featured posts. I hope you feel better soon.

    (I’m sensitive to drugs. I don’t even take advil… so all my teeth-things, from wisdom tooth extraction to fillings have been done without anesthetics or drugs after.)


    I did not mind the photo. Just saying. Everything really is relative.
    Dentist issue: ask for nitrous oxide, known as laughing gas. You are awake, you know what they’re doing, you feel skin being cut, you hear bone being crunched…you just don’t Care. Good stuff.


      I asked my bargain basement dentist for laughing gas. You would have thought I was asking for the Michael Jackson drug with the look he gave me.

      I hate this dentist with the fiery hot passion of 1000 bottles of sriracha


        You need a different dentist. You NEED laughing gas. They don’t call it laughing gas for nothing. Look at it this way: your blog makes us laugh, shouldn’t your dentist make you laugh??


        Will you call my dentist?


        Sure, no worries.
        What would you like me to call her: ass, bogart, stingy?


        It’s because I have horrible insurance! I have to pay for my own, and I have some kind of Obama care plan that sucks donkey balls.
        And I voted for him.

        She’s very mean, by the way, and gets annoyed at me for not staying numb. Because, you know, that’s my fault and all.


    Okay, I’ve obviously missed something here… why does this feel like something that could only happen to you???


    I think WordPress automatically defaults to the image you want to see in the reader the least. Because, you know. this is WordPress.
    However, if on the post editor page you add the image you want to show up in the reader to the “Featured Image” widget (bottom right of the screen), it should work. You can add either one of the images already in the post, or a completely different image. I’ve used that feature a couple of times when I had more than one image in the post and wanted a specific one to show up in the reader, and it seemed to work.


    The whole anesthesia thing and sensitivity in general, is a downside to being fabulously red headed… sucks at the dentist, or in my case the ENT, but we shine on so many other fronts! (she said boldly, before hiding under the covers) I happen to have seen you getting McNuggets, but gorgeous Geisha wasn’t there… so no photos. Unless Chrissy took them! 😉

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