I’m the party girl, the smarty girl, that arty girl
That rock and roll child, toured with Nirvana
Born to be wild, dressed up in style
Party with rock stars, cool kids, out laws, in the raw
I’m the cool girl, the hot girl, the “it” girl, human tilt-a-whirl
The popular girl, wild child, live on the edge, crouched on a ledge
The sexy girl, men want to screw
Super talented chick, don’t you wish it were you?
♫ One two three drink
one two three drink
one two three drink
throw ‘em back till I lose count ♫
Envy me, copy me, fall for me; worship me
Beg for me, plead for me
If they want me they bleed for me
I’m the girl who takes all the chances, who dies everyday,
is reborn every moment, I’ll lead you astray
Pour me a drink and I’ll tell you my life
your envy so thick it could cut with a knife
White hot
Independent
Drinks are for free.
My options got options, don’t you wish you were me?
Dressed to wicked perfection in Jimmy Choo boots
Black leather and buckles in three different heights
Bold and
brassy
Inappropriate
Carefree
Druggy misadventures with Beasties and Flea
The Limelight
The Tunnel
The Mercer Hotel,
Partied in Vegas
New Orleans
Nashville was hell
♫ I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist, like it doesn’t exist ♫
I’m the girl who’s shaking now, what have I done, what have I done?
I’m the girl who’s sobbing now, gotta unplug,
Hair matted down on one side
“just get home” on repeat
All those friends were not real they were props on my stage,
painted in the shattered strobe light now they all fade
Stop judging me, hating me, coveting my life
The years slipped through my fingers, a fool’s paradise
She’s the makeup smeared girl in a bathroom stall
vomiting out daddy issues against the back wall
Cutting white lines on the closed toilet seat
without smack in her veins she feels incomplete
Dance with me, sing with me, you’ll present like a king with me,
steal with me, deal with me; you won’t ever heal with me
The party girl’s wrapped in layers of numb
anesthetized to the hilt with cocaine and rum
Escaping at dawn from a loft I don’t know
How did I end up downtown? Did all of us go?
Remember that time she was sectioned in Queens?
She thought it was Manhattan or some kind of dream
A cop picked up her up for not knowing her way,
or where she was, who she was, or even what day.
Commited for 3 days for being insane –
a half ounce of coke does that to a brain
The hot MILF, the cool mom,
loses custody of her kid.
So cop a little more scag,
drop off the grid
Hot-bodied flame-haired
girl from the hood
She’s homeless in 6 months
But damn she looks good
♫ But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ‘cos I’m just holding on for tonight ♫
Ready to fuck like a porn star, wanna have a good time?
send me your email I’ll fuck you online
Check your respect at the door cause you’re here to screw
and fuck my best friend, don’t mind if you do
Play with me, stray with me, put yourself on display with me
Stay with me, stay with me, I can’t bear another day of me
Play with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Please
I can’t be alone I can’t seem to breathe
Post- party heart- crushing comedown at dawn
when the drugs are used up everybody is gone
Play with me
pray for me
Play with me
pray for me
The life of the party, she quietly seeks death
You’ve helped her this far – why not steal her last breath?
Play with me
Pray for me
Play with me
Pray for me
pray for me
pray for me
pray for me
pray for me
Have compassion for the people who seem to be having the time of their lives. It’s an act.
Talk to me. I’m listening.
The first time I heard this song, I thought Sia had peeked into my brain.
The video is amazing.
Frist, Precious xo
I’m going nowhere. And this is incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully good poetry. Thank you for being part of #1000Speak, and my life. ❤
You’re welcome my dearest of friends. Thank you for everything.
Always, if I can – ALWAYS ❤
Okay.
I just love ya. that’s fucking all. xxxxxxxxxx
Do you still love me even though it took 5 days for me to respond?
hahahaha
Love you too, Kim.
I don’t know what to say. This is one of the most haunting things I’ve ever read in my life.
It haunted me, too. I couldn’t even answer comments for day.
I’m a torture soul hahahahaha
Oh. My. God. This poem is amazing, and heart wrenching.
Thank you. It was heart wrenching to write, and I had a hard time coming back to answer comments. Thank you for being patient, Jen.
This is tragically beautiful.
I am speechless.
That is all.
With heart,
Dani
There’s nothing I can say. You said it. All.
Thanks.
Oh yeah. Don’t ever stop. With the words.
Brilliant, enough said.
So right on.
Honest and straight and ragged and wow. This is amazing.
I completely, totally understand EVERY word of this…it just takes the hurt more time to settle in for party girls…
Heartbreakingly raw. You are incredible. Stay you.
Samara… is this you? Is this past you? Present you? Your words always make me hold my breath. I read them wide-eyed, unable to blink or breathe, wanting to exhale, but I can’t. You have such a gift… the power behind your words is chilling. The landscape of this life is haunting. Your artistry is both riveting and raw.
I never have words to even respond to what you write- just know you capture my breath every time.
Reblogged this on Souldier Girl and commented:
Damn…that’s all I got, speechless, so I’ll just reblog…
I have never cried so hard from reading something. Everything about this gave me chills and has my heart hurting.
Fucking on point and unreal, so good.
One of the most frequent comments I’ve received privately over the last three days is how people had no idea how I struggled with insecurity and body image. Because of how confident I appear. You hit the nail on the head, girlfriend.
Your poetry is amazing. I would love to hear you speak this.
You’re amazing. I love your story, your honesty, your talent, your beauty, your ugly. Your stories give me hope, redemption, and faith. Proud of you, and I don’t even know you!
Raw and brutal. A sucker punch. But the kind that does me some good.
This is amazing babe just what I needed to read today
Holey Shit, you are a phenom, this is incredible, I have read 15 times already and I can’t see me ever getting sick of it! Love
Reblogged this on kailashkatheth1's Blog.
Holy. Fucking. SHIT. I was definitely with you in spirit(s).
This piece is so poignant , had a great impact on me. Very well written !
Dropping by from 1000Speak
Perfection. You know I adore you.
Phenomenal. I feel the pulse of this brilliant piece. Very well done. I’ve seen that Sia video, but it is only now that I’ve heard it. Thanks!
I am the anti party girl that can out drink anyone at a party. Love you.
WOW. Just…wow. Thank you for your raw candor. ❤
So brutally honest and heart breaking… We need to see beyond one’s appearance,.beautiful
Random Thoughts Naba..Why No One Talks About Compassion Anymore?….
I’m here, Samara. And I love you. ❤
Wow! I don’t have words. Powerful. Brutal. Honest.
I want to hold you hand and pull you into me and bury your face in my chest. What an amazingly powerful stream of words. I read with my mouth wide open, and I get it. For sure…things are rarely ever what they seem. You have my number, my address, my everything. Use it.
She’s the makeup smeared girl in a bathroom stall
vomiting out daddy issues against the back wall
Cutting white lines on the closed toilet seat
without smack in her veins she feels incomplete
Samara, fuck girl, you took me back to a place I fucking hated and insane as it sounds, loved. Your writing is mind numbing. You belong in a far larger arena, my friend. Your work needs to be read by the masses, or perhaps sung to them. I’m sharing this to my two personal pages in hopes it will reach a few more. Sitting here remembering back, even at 59 I still have to fight that girl sometimes to keep her off the chanalier. You are a voice to be heard……
One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor.
Little fluffy clouds skuff a wide exspanse of powder blue. The blue wouldn’t be as interesting without those little bits of fluffiness.
You catch my drift?
Just heart-stopping. You and your writing.
Once again, we’re one and the same–only you can express it so much better than I ever could. Love this.
Wow.
I have nothing to say. This was heartbreaking to read… ❤ ❤
Reblogged this on and commented:
Samara is amazing; I never went the route of drugs and partying, but I craved death and threw myself into sex. I tried to be the party girl, but that was so far from who I was that it never worked out. I prefer retreating into myself, quietly suffering while everyone else looks on.
This post, and Samara herself, is beautiful and raw. She tells it like she sees it, no punches pulled.
I’d pay hard earned cold cash to slam this in a club, spoken word style.
Meant to say SEE YOU slam this
You are so wicked smart, Samara, you hurt my brain. You are brilliant, a genius, a brave one unafraid of the world’s mirror. Or facing her own reflection because bad shit can become good people.
Reblogged this on and commented:
Amazing. My friend Samara has done it again – she is constantly spilling her heart onto the page for us. Please, give this a read.
What a mind-blowing piece, Samara. Heart-breaking and inspiring. Once again, through your words you have opened my eyes to who my niece is and how she truly feels about herself. Nothing she fears more than being alone with her thoughts. I am sorry that you feel that pain. BESOS! xoxo
WOW. Heartbreaking, breathtaking, relatable, and awesome.
I used drinking as an emotional crutch until I ended up in the er. I finally realized I couldn’t go on like that. Now if I feel bad about anything, I don’t go near alcohol. Thanks for finding a way to put these feelings down in writing.
Amazing and touching poem. Thanks for sharing:-)
And thank you for taking the time to read, and to comment. xo
I’m so emotional after having read this. Your wiring is amazing! Some of your words when read mimicked my own shameful memories of my lost youth and adulthood. I also felt extremely moved with your reference to Sia. ….I felt that too. Thank you for sharing this!
Monica
So much grit an wit in these words, I found the rhyming pattern and rhythm so engaging my brain felt like it was listening to music without hearing any. I’m am in awe!