I Walked In At 7 am; Dirty, Drunk…

June 10, 2014 — 140 Comments

 

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…my shoe was broken.

My 10 year old lectured me.

“It’s morning, Mama! Do you realize it’s MORNING??”

I was about to tell him not to lecture ME; I was the mom here.

I opened my mouth. And hurled into the kitchen sink.

 

This is all the doing of my college BFF.  She is a walking cyclone.

A full throttle unrepentant trouble maker.

She’s been my partner in crime over 25 years, ever since we were freshman in college.

We were the lone New York girls adrift in a sea of lame Midwestern chicks.

 

My BFF is a tough ass Latina chick from the South Bronx, a hard core rock and roller, and an empty nester.

This is a deadly combo.

She had her kids as soon as we graduated college, and after over 20 years of marriage, got divorced.

She was diagnosed last fall with Stage 3 breast cancer.

 

She lives every day as if it were her last.

 

In college, our mayhem was legendary.

I’m not just talking about our Intergalactic Voyage parties; in which we distributed pharmaceutical grade LSD to hundreds of students so they could get zonked out of their gourds.

I mean, literally legendary.

She is actually written into the pledge book of a popular fraternity at our alma mater.

She was so butt-toast hammered in the back of a limo en route to a fraternity formal, that she dropped a lit joint in her lap.

Her dress caught fire.

She looked down and deadpanned,

Holy shit, I’m on fire.”

To this day, when a freshman is pledging that frat, and has to memorize facts in the pledge book,

one of the questions asked is, “Who said, ‘Holy shit, I’m on fire’?”

The answer? My BFF.

 

We both idolize Patti Smith, and when her birthday concert was announced for last December 30, we bought tickets. Immediately.

Patti was playing at Webster Hall, a club in Manhattan 2 blocks from my old apartment in the East Village.

Lot of memories from that place.

Dating all the way back to when it was The Ritz, a premier rock club in the 1980’s.

 

She and I and our freshman year boyfriends drove to Manhattan from upstate NY to see shows there.

Over the college years we had other boyfriends.

But we stayed friends with these two, because of our love for music.

And each other.

 

Freshman year, the 4 of us we saw the Beastie Boys at The Ritz over Christmas break.

Sophomore year, the 4 of us saw The Ramones at the Ritz for my birthday in September.

The Ramones. I could do a whole blog post on Joey Ramone. I will, someday.

Senior year, the 4 of us saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I still remember the exact set list, because we stole it off the stage.

 

Since divorcing, she’d rekindled her romance with her college flame, R, who was also divorced and living in Brooklyn.

He was still best friends with M, my old college flame.

 

The last time I saw either of them, it was 20 years ago at a New Year’s Eve party at the Paramount Hotel in midtown Manhattan.

M was in law school in the city.

I was in a black rubber dress and heroin.

A lot had changed in the 4 years since we graduated.

 

When we found out that they were going to the same show, and wanted to meet up with us –

I shit a cold purple Twinkie.

It’s unnerving to see an old flame you haven’t seen in 20 years.

Of the four of us, M was the only one still married.  Apparently his marriage was on the rocks, and he was about to be separated.

 

Oh, shit. 

 

My BFF traveled to my house from Boston, and we spent the late afternoon making ourselves look like club sluts primping for our night out.

My kid FREAKED when he saw me dressed for the show.

 

I was in skin tight black clothing from head to toe, lots of cleavage showing, thigh high black stiletto boots, and more makeup than I normally wear in a week.

My poor kid. He blocked the door to try to prevent me from leaving.

“Mama – you can’t go OUT looking like that! Everyone’s going to LOOK at you!”

 

“Little Dude,” my BFF said, “that’s the whole point.”

 

We took the bus into the city. No driving tonight.

I planned to get a little buzzed that night, not inebriated.

I’m a total lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

I get stupid on half a glass of wine.

She, on the other hand, planned on getting rat-ass  kootered.

My girl can drink.

 

The club was packed with about 2,000 fans. All hail the Punk Poetess.

It was a bizarre mix of people; ranging in age from 20 to 60.

United only by the demographic of worshipping the Godmother of Punk.

R had texted her that they were at the bar of the club, near the back.

I spotted them as soon as we walked towards the bar.

 

That M.

He was still really cute.

He hadn’t changed a whole lot in 20 years.

It was like a time warp.

Almost instantly, everything was just like it used to be with the 4 of us.

The same exact energy was there.

 

Oh shit. 

 

M wanted to buy me a drink. I didn’t know what to have.

He suggested Vodka and Red Bull.

He told me it was “Refreshing. Like soda.”

 

He’s a FUCKING LIAR.

 

What happens is, you get drunk, but you’re so gorked on 5000 mg of caffeine, you don’t realize it.

So you keep drinking them.

Which is what I did.

 

The lights dimmed and the stage went black.

The band started to play the unmistakable and haunting opening strains to Lou Reeds, “Heroin.”

A few months earlier, Patti Smith had written a gorgeous eulogy to him when he died.

Her male counterpart, the Godfather of Punk.

 

Now, she was opening the night in an homage to him, and one of his greatest songs.

It took the audience a collective 5 seconds to recognize the song she was opening with – and then –

they went HOG WILD OFF THE WALLS FUCKING BONKERS BAT SHIT CRAZY.

2000 people screaming and clapping.

This is the kind of shit New Yorkers are famous for.

When it comes to honoring one of our own, it’s no holds barred.

 

I had so many emotions running through me that night.

This club. The location. My old neighborhood.

The opening song. Heroin. My demon.

My BFF

Her cancer.

These men. The boys we dated in college.

 

When we first spoke at the bar, M asked me about my husband.

“I’m not married anymore. I left him.”

He said,

“Of course you did. That’s what you DO.”

 

“Drunk” is an understatement to describe my condition.

Ossified. Comboozelated.

The kind of wasted where you lose your underwear (I didn’t.)

The show ended at 11:30.

The night went on forever.

 

I remember walking through the cold windy streets of downtown from one bar to another. And another.

I have no memory of where, exactly.

At some  point my shoe broke.

I think…I fell?

That would explain me getting so dirty.

Partly.

 

We ran the streets like we were 19.

My heart was free that night.

My mind traveled back in time, and I had no responsibilities.

No kid. No mortgage. No worries.

 

Things were said that shouldn’t have been.

Things happened that shouldn’t have.

 

We kept missing buses back to NJ.

The 2 am. The 3 am.

My BFF and I ended up on a 6am bus back to the suburbs.

We left the glittering city of hope and promise and rode the bus into the gray oppressive suburban morning.

I had no coat.

I had lost it at some point, and spent the night with M’s jacket around my shoulder.

 

The last thing I remember that night is him walking me on the bus – literally, onto the bus, taking his jacket back, and giving me a very soft kiss goodbye.

Just a peck on the lips.

And me looking up at him.

Then, I passed out.

 

 

M texted me the next day, and the day after that.

I never responded to him.

Of course you did. That’s what you DO.”

I just heard through the grapevine he’s back with his wife.

Good.

 

 

We got off the bus and had no ride back to my house.

It was a mile walk.

I hobbled drunkenly, my shoe broken.

I fell again.

That would account for why I was dirty.

Partly.

 

I walked in my house at 7 am.

Dirty, drunk.

My shoe was broken.

My 10 year old lectured me.

 

My BFF started the worst 5 months of her life January 7th, one week after the concert.

The chemo nearly killed her.

She kept having seizures and almost fatal temperatures after every treatment.

After that, months of radiation burned her body to the point of blistering.

But she’s ALIVE.

 

We have tickets to go see an epic concert at The Stone Pony in July.

 

The Stone Pony is an iconic New Jersey venue. Bruce Springsteen started his career there, and is known for dropping in unexpectedly.

It’s in Asbury Park, right on the beach.

 

Our old college flames are thinking of getting tickets to the same show.

 

GOD HELP ME. 

 

 

Do you have that one friend who gets you into all kinds of trouble? Are you still friends with your college roommate?
Have you ever encountered an old flame, after a very long time?
Talk to me. I’m listening.

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140 responses to I Walked In At 7 am; Dirty, Drunk…

  1. 

    I want to go too!! 😀
    Think I’ll have to sit this one out. Can’t have too many M’s in the same place or the world might explode.
    It’s good to have roll back the years nights like that… to let your mind be free of the day to day responsibilities and stress for a even a little while, and let your heart roam the streets again, your blood pumping in time to the last song the band played, and your eyes reflecting the light of the moon, and the neon signs of the bars you spill into and pour out of.
    it’s been too long for me. Maybe this summer I will find a night to party with some old college friends…

    • 

      You remember how SICK I was? You were the one who told me vodka and Red Bull was lethal!

      Dude, I was hungover for 3 days.

      It was totally worth it.

      I wish you lived closer. This show next month will be amazing.

      I better get some stronger shoes…

      • 

        Stronger shoes is a good place to start. I also advise a regiment of preparing your body for the VRBs. Start with a weak one two weeks out, and then slowly work up to having 2 at regular strength the night before the show. Then you’ll be all set. Promise. You know you can always trust an M when it comes to alcohol. 😉 Funny story – the night I met The Queen I poured her an EverSprite (190 proof Everclear hidden within the bubbly sweetness of a Sprite). She smartly declined. 😛
        Maybe next time The Queen and I head to PA to visit her folks we’ll have to make a road trip out to meet up with you somewhere…

      • 

        1. You want me to build up to getting wasted?

        2. Yes, I would LOVE it if we made plans if you were on the East Coast.

        3. The Queen is a smart cookie!

        4. The damn video HAS to show up in the reader instead of my post image. It’s the way WordPress is set up.
        So now, I’m worried about “that” word, all over again. I think I’m going to delete the video. Unless the song title isn’t that obvious. Thoughts?

      • 

        1. It’s the logical thing to do. Trust me. 😉
        2. Definitely! It probably won’t be this year as I’m sending the Queen and Little Prince that direction without me this summer, though I may still head that direction around Christmas.
        3. True.
        4. Since I have no idea what you are talking about, either a) my work server blocked whatever video you are refering to so I’m not the best source for an opinion or b) it isn’t that obvious and you shouldn’t worry about it, but c) right now, erring on the side of caution is probably smart – none of us need any more drama.

      • 

        I did. I removed the video, just. in. case.

        It was a Patti Smith song. It contained a word in the title that some people don’t appreciate.

        Someone recommended I drink beer the next time I go out, but I don’t like beer. Any other recommendations??

      • 

        Hard Cider? Wine coolers? The three wise men? Irish car bombs? Oh, wait, no, that one is mostly beer. EverSprites?
        Honestly, I drink VRBs when out and about, because the RB gives me the energy to go and go and go, and the V takes the edge of so I can step out of my introverted shell and actually enjoy being around so many people. One to get me going, and then whenever I feel the energy wearing off afterwards.

      • 

        You really drink those liver-killing monstrosities?
        Never. Again.

        Wine coolers? What am I, in high school?

        What is an Irish car bomb? And the three wise men – that’s part of the Christmas story and not an actual drink, right?

      • 

        Three Wise Men: Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, and Jack Daniels.
        There are variations on this with Jose isntead of Johnny… but, I try to avoid Tequila.

        Irish Car Bomb: Glass of Guiness, drop in a shot of Irish Whiskey, and chug-a-log. Actually, takes a bit like a choclate milkshake. Yum.

        Wine coolers was the only joke answer. Good job spotting it. 😉

      • 

        The Irish car bomb sounds vile. And you are just another MATT TRYING TO GET ME IN TROUBLE LIKENING IT TO A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE!

        Hahahahaha! I’m onto you Matts!

        Wait – so the three wise men: there’s no way you drink them together, right? It’s a suggestion to try any one of the three of them, right?

        Whiskey is NOT my thing. I’m more of a…well, I don’t drink. I’m not an anything, really. But I would have to say, clear alcohol, like Vodka.

        NOT with Red Bull. If you recall, my son was READING too loud the next day. Ugh.

      • 

        Yes, the three wise men – three shots, you drink them all at the same time, bam, bam, bam. You are set for the night. 😀

        We are troublemakers. We have to be true to that universal … um… truth. It’s in the fine print on our birth certificates under the word “Matt.”

      • 

        Ugh, that sounds vile! Is that a Thing, or are you making this up?

        You really DO know a lot about alcohol. I was a bartender in the 90’s, but they didn’t have those drinks then. You were 10, you wouldn’t remember (hopefully). 🙂

        Yes, you Matts are trouble makers, but you’re lovable rogues. I never met a Matt I didn’t like.

      • 

        I’ve met at least two Matt’s I didn’t much care for. It’s a fine line to walk between trouble-making-lovable-rogue, and trouble-maker.

        I probably had a sip of beer or wine offered by my parents when I was 10, but, no, didn’t learn much about alcohol until college really. And then it took me a long time to find drinks I actually liked, so I spent that time experimenting with lots of different options… The Three Wise Men, yes, is a thing, but I’ve only done it once or twice on special occasions when I was getting ready to go pub hopping. I used to drink Flaming Dr. Peppers a lot, more for the novalty than anything. For a long time my drink of choice was kamakazees. But, then I found that I actually enjoyed darker beers so I started drinking those, except for when I want something stronger and I found that I liked good whiskeys.
        The evolution of my alcohol palette.

      • 

        Okay.
        Flaming Dr. Peppers?
        Am I being punked??

        My BFF is actually a beer connoisseur of sorts; she adores craft beers and is particularly fond of seasonal beers from certain breweries.

        She hates commercial “beer flavored water.”

      • 

        Yeah… I don’t drink Coors or Bud or Miller or Corona or any of those “big name” sellers. I stick with imports from England and Belgium, along with some microbrews I like from around the states. One of my favorite beers is Tooheys Old (or Dark), but it doesn’t get shipped to the states, so I only get it when a friend goes to Australia and brings me back some.

      • 

        You and my BFF would get along very well. There are certain “hard to get” beers she loves, and only has them when certain people acquire them for her.

        I don’t get the whole beer thing. Never did. Yuck.

      • 

        The Queen doesn’t get it either. You’re in good company. 😉 Though, seems like I’m in good company too. So, we all win! 😀

      • 

        Flaming Dr. Pepper:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming_Doctor_Pepper
        I prefer the bacardi 151 version.

      • 

        Okay, THAT actually sounds like something I could drink. Sweet.

        Except the flaming part. I would probably catch on fire. And my BFF – well, she’s infamous for catching on fire. hahaha

      • 

        I’ve only caught on fire a couple times… but, never from this drink. Though, there are countless youtube videos that you can find where people catch on fire trying to drink flaming beverages.

      • 

        Now THAT sounds like a fun evening. Watching YouTube videos of people catching on fire.

        I’m googling it RIGHT NOW.

      • 

        Enjoy! 😀
        Don’t laugh too hard, you might fall off your chair and hurt something.

  2. 

    Here’s to taking our old selves out and dusting them off every so often.
    Besides, kids today need to be shown how to do it.
    Because life ain;t lived through the screen of a smartphone.

    • 

      Yay! I’m getting commended for acting totally irresponsibly!

      I’ll take it. Yep, let me teach the kid how to party like a rock star!

      If my son ever walked in the house at 7 am in the condition I was in (except after his prom), I would Wipe The Floor With Him.

  3. 

    Beautiful story. Makes me wish I was there… I grew up in Brooklyn & now live in Putnam County NY so that sort of makes us neighbors. 🙂

    • 

      We ARE neighbors!

      We live in the metropolitan area, so it counts.

      Don’t you miss Brooklyn? I miss the city. I live in New Jersey now. Yuck.

      • 

        Hells yeah! I lived in Bensonhurst so it was a wretched hive of Cadillacs and Anthonys. Oh, and Jack Lalannes. But I kinda loved my little apartment on 84th Street. :/

      • 

        A “wretched hive of Cadillacs and Anthonys” – genius!!

        I know that area. Very well, in fact. Have you blogged about it? if so, shoot me the link.

        “Angela! Make me a plate!”

      • 

        I used to tell people that if I walked up to 86th Street and shouted “HEY! AnthonEE!”, a hundred guys would turn around plus maybe they’re big-haired wives.
        I’ve only blogged about that neighborhood indirectly here: http://wp.me/p4eZuF-n3 and here: http://wp.me/p4eZuF-6W Both about my old job on 86th & 25th Ave.

        Never really hung with the Guido/Guidette crowd so there wasn’t much interaction for blogging, unfortunately. :/

  4. 

    That’s a great strory!!!

    • 

      Thank you so much!

      Except the part where I was sick for three entire days.

      I decided not to put that part in. I wanted to leave it…optimistic. hahahaha

  5. 

    So jealous of you getting to see Patti and the Ramones, two of my favorites that I never saw.

    I have many, many similar stories involving “I think?” with my BFF. We have over 20 years of embarrassment now.

    • 

      Yes. 20 years of embarrassment is EXACTLY how I would describe it.

      When you live in the East Village/New York, you get to see a lot of those kinds of shows.

      Fishie, don’t you live in Jersey? I’ll drag you to see the next Patti show. Maybe I’ll make it home less drunk and filthy. 🙂

      • 

        I wish. I’m completely on the other side of the country in the other massive sprawl of civilization called LA. When I lived in Boston, i saw my share of NYC shows though.

        And if you brought me, there’s zero chance that you’d be less drunk and filthy. 😉

      • 

        YES to getting drunk and filthy together!!

        There was something liberating about being that dirty.

        I know I fell a few times. I also may or may not have made out with someone in the bushes somewhere.

        I really don’t remember. It’s all a blur. 🙂

      • 

        I feel hungover just thinking about nights like that.

    • 

      I would love to hang out with you and Goldy and watch you get drunk and dirty!!

  6. 

    She lives every day as if it were her last. I need to learn this.

    • 

      My BFF has always had that kind of “squeeze every bit of out life” personality.

      But since she got sick? She really enjoys her life. When she can. When she’s well enough to.

      I wish I could do what she does. Because through her, I learned that life is a very precious commodity.

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’re feeling well, these days.

  7. 

    My favorite line: HOG WILD OFF THE WALLS FUCKING BONKERS BAT SHIT CRAZY. I’m gonna need to remember this exact pairing of words for the future.

    These are nights to live for and remember forever. I can’t wait to hear July’s story… 🙂

    • 

      Dude, I hope I LIVE through July. I don’t have her tolerance for alcohol. I don’t have her energy to push up front to the stage.

      I’ll never forget that night. I’ve been meaning to write about it since December 31. It’s taken me this long to – emotionally recover, if that makes any sense?

      *weeps into a pillow*

  8. 

    You. Are. OUTRAGEOUS! I love it 😀

    I’m glad your friend lived, and that you had such an awesome time. And that you’re both (all?) going to have ANOTHER such an awesome time. Having three close friends with whom you’ve maintained such a strong connection, for such a long time, through concerts, is amazing. I love that you have that.

    • 

      Well, she and I have that connection. And she rekindled hers with her college crush.

      I really hadn’t seen them in forever- but if by connection you mean that it was as if the years had never passed – yes. That’s what it felt like. But Lizzi- that can be a dangerous thing…

      My BFF is great! She actually goes to see live music constantly. It’s her life line, literally. xoxo

      • 

        Yes, I daresay it can be a dangerous thing to feel as though the years have never passed, but at the same time – how wonderful. Because the sense of continuity amongst the group is so strong.

        I have friends like that, who I don’t see for months at a time, sometimes, and we just pick up absolutely where we left off. And it’s beautiful.

        I’m glad she has music as her life line. Music is a good one – a powerful force to tap into (whether for good or bad – I’ve done both, but not with live music, just music in general).

      • 

        Lizzi, I just commented to someone else that I’ve been meaning to write this story since it happened. It’s been in my drafts forever.

        But I really needed some emotional distance from that night. It stirred up a lot of powerful feelings.

      • 

        Yeah I can imagine. It was intense to read – but to LIVE? Wow!

        I’m glad you feel able to write about it now.

      • 

        Well, it was either this, the gyn post (NO WAY) or the one I’m trying to formulate about Orange is the New Black.

        Gotta work those pigs into the story. Oink.

      • 

        OITNB! OITNB!. I still think you should give the gyn post to Beth (only for the LOVE, Precious, don’t write that one in such vivid HD…we’d all be wincing 😉 )

      • 

        Wait- what do you mean, for the love?

        I just emailed someone the story. It’s really hilarious!

        Yes, I’d have to turn down the volume on that one. Hmmmm.
        But what fun!

      • 

        Half of an expression

        ‘For Pete’s sake’ >> ‘For the love of Pete!’ >> ‘For the love…’

        Glad you wrote it at least 🙂 Is the person you emailed it to gonna publish it? I bet it’s hysterical 🙂

      • 

        No, I just wrote it to him as an anecdote. But as I wrote it, it got funnier and funnier.

        There’s a way to turn it into a post, without grossing out the blog community. I’m sure there is.

  9. 

    “Comboozelated” Hilarious. You have my greatest respect!

    I’ve a great friend, who I’ve known since I was 12. Likewise we went through school college etc. His nickname was ‘Tool’ I recon you’ll work it out. He was a popular guy with the girls.

    We still get together to do stuff (sometimes slightly odd like the time we built a small green oak barn for a lady using traditional tools). N is / was wrecklessly carefree, funny haha, supportive, generous to a fault. He also has a heart problem now, which chucked off small clots causing a few strokes. Life’s a bitch.

    When we left college in the late 70’s there were about a dozen of us. Now, three.

    But let’s not dwell on that.

    Blinding blog! Such joy reading it. So many recollections long past and not so long.

    And. My recommended drink would be a Polish drink. Bison Grass vodka, fresh lime juice, fresh cloudy apple juice over ice. I’ll leave the proportions to you. Does the job, hydrates and provides the vitamin C

    • 

      Not sure if I’ve ever mentioned my brothers. They’re about 17 years younger than me. They’re cyclist’s as well. The routine when we meet up is a long cycle ride over some ridiculous hills, a shower, and catch the 3pm train into Leicester City, where we usually take a drink (yes to vrb) and if we remember to, we eat. Then we trawl through a few music venues and a club or two. Last time a nice bouncer (that’s got to be an oxymoron) woke me up and recommended that I go home to bed as “…I was distracting the pole dancers…” Not sure when or how we got there, but the chairs were comfy

      • 

        You have not mentioned your brothers. That’s quite an age difference.
        Hmmm. Is there a story there?

        Distracting the pole dancers, were you? I guess your devilish good looks made it impossible for them to concentrate…

        I think hanging out and actually enjoying the company of your siblings is a gift. Sometimes, we just cannot stand the family we were born into, and we have to create one that suits us better. From friends.

        My BFF is my sister of the heart.

    • 

      That drink sounds divine. But – how do I order it? It must have a name.

      And what is “cloudy” apple juice, like apple cider?

      I think college provides such a strong context for long friendships. You go through so much together, it’s only natural bonds will form. It’s why I felt like no time had passed at all when I saw my friends.

      I’m sorry your friend has had to endure strokes. My BFF, as luck would have it (bad luck) also had a brain tumor, about 14 years ago.

      She’s been through it, and then some. We’re both survivors, which is why we were drawn to one another. Right from the beginning. We even had the same backstory: “poor girl from shitty housing project makes good.”

      • 

        Hi S xo

        The drink – its called Titanka (pronounced T’tanka in Poland) Bison grass vodka is amazing, if you’ve never had it you’re in for a treat)

        I was about 16 when my brothers were born. We are quite close now (like many families tragedy can bring people together, sometimes) The things that amaze me about my brothers is how alike we are in tastes (food, music, attitude, er women – I’ve a very funny story that might make you smile about that. I’ll add it later if you like) Why is it amazing? Because I’d left home before they arrived, and I wasn’t around until I was about 30 (bit busy lol). My grandad was one of three brothers, and we now find ourselves going out walking the same streets to the same venues (albeit different interiors, sometimes) and no doubt doing the same stuff. We had a ‘rememberence’ do a few weeks back, and at one point we found ourselves, with a drink on board, standing together in an old part of Leicester (15th C) staring at the night sky, hands on shoulders, talking of past events, of loss of happiness of continuity of cabbages and kings. The three (should have been four) of us, slight genetic and geographical varriance. And so the wheel of history turns timelessly on.

        So many of your blogofriends point out the seamless way that friends connect, even with the separation of great spans of time and events. I judge myself most fortunate to be amongst those people.

        Time has no grip upon me, events sit side by side, the immediacy of friendship immutable within me.

        You are who you are, a consequence of many consequences. And Yay to that!

      • 

        As I wrote for my bio on an upcoming blog collective I’m involved in,
        “I’m the sum of everything that’s happened to me, and the evolution past ALL of it.”

        Do American bars have Bison grass vodka? What on earth IS that??

      • 

        Oh, and I think the distraction had a lot more to do with the fact that I was sitting almost on the stage (best comfy seat) and I was bringing out the mothering instinct in a few of the girls (cushions kindly placed etc…lol) Definitely nothing to do with distractingly good looks! Lol

      • 

        You’re too modest. 🙂

        Perhaps you were reciting them poetry? You have a tendency towards that. 🙂

      • 

        Cloudy apple juice. Its apple juice that’s not filtered. Not sure what its called in Merica. Not from a concentrate. I make (rarely) my own, I call it Itzgotzbizyn ( say it a few times and it makes sense…honest Guv’na)

      • 

        Bison Grass is an aromatic grass only found in Poland. Its placed in the bottle and infuses it with a sweet grassy flavour. I bet bars would have it. Do you have a Polish quarter near by, they would have it. There’s loads of Poles near here. Fantastic people!

      • 

        The East Village, where I lived in NY
        had a strong polish/Ukrainian flavor.

        Lots of great places to eat that sort of food.

        I’m not sure about here in the suburbs. I can check. It sounds worth it.

      • 

        I think it makes a difference worth the effort.

        And. Re modesty. You are so kind. Kind but wrong lol. I recon those girls would have been more interested in my liquidity rather than my loquaciousness . Hey Charlie Babbitt made a joke

  10. 

    Oh those hangovers where even your hair hurts. My party days ended a fair bit before vodka and Red Bull and thank god for that otherwise I’d likely be dead. Your son sounds funny. If he keeps doing well in karate he just might be able to make mommy stay at home next time she dresses up.

    • 

      Mine are over as well. I don’t “party” unless you count overeating chocolate. But this night – this was an exception. Ugh. I was in bed for three days. I really AM a lightweight.

      My son is hilarious! I just told someone on facebook that he said that night I looked like a “goth anime chick” hahaha

  11. 

    Ha! Awesome night out Samara. I like the way you planned your transportation (or most of it) so you had a way to get around without driving. Love the scathing greeting by the 10 year old. It is so funny that our kids have this sort of “old person” image of their parents. I can remember my wife and I joining a gym and our 12 year old commenting “Bit old for that, don’t you think?”

    DJ is right – if you build a resistance to the alcohol, much like doing push-ups, you will be better able to tolerate large intakes the night of the event. Besides, you could have great fun practicing your drinking routine.

    I used to do some pretty wild partying in my late 20’s but haven’t tied one on for a long time. Ha! I partially remember one wild night when we were mixing amphetamines with alcohol at a cabin deep in the woods only accessible by boat. Whew. Don’t know if you’ve ever done that (I imagine RB and alcohol would be a comparable legal experience), but the two sort of balance each other. I vaguely recall coming out of the bush with the party girl driving the boat full throttle while she described in detail all the shallow rocks and low clearances. The sun was just rising and we could see the jagged rocks flashing by just under the surface as she zigged and zagged across the surface at as high a speed as the boat would go. Miraculously, I didn’t get wet. It took me three days to recover from that hang over.

    • 

      Well, Paul, as crazy as we can sometimes get, we DID know enough not to try and drive drunk. We’re not teenagers; we don’t think we’re invincible!

      I can’t work on building a resistance to alcohol! I’ve no interest in drinking! I don’t want to get buzzed for weeks just to prepare for a night out!

      I think amphetamines are a little more heavy duty than Red Bull. I could be wrong. hahahaha

      That boat ride sounds amazing, but like something no sober person would do. And three days is precisely how long I was ill in bed from my night out with the BFF. I will NOT let her get me so drunk that I lose another 3 days! That was painful!

      Yes, my son is like the little “man around the house.” He has something to say about everything these days. I wonder what he’s going to be like as a teenager…

  12. 

    At least you had fun and made lots of memories! I don’t have a BFF, I have moved around too much in my life. I love that your son gave you a lecture. Oh to be a fly on the wall for that one 🙂

    • 

      My son is a handful.

      He CHARGES me $1.00 for everytime I use his name in a blog post. He made me sign a contract.

      He doesn’t read this blog (obviously). So, I’m on the honor system. What a little hustler!

      Were you in a military family? My brother was in the army; his family moved constantly.

      • 

        No, not in a military family. I’ve just moved a lot for persoanel reasons since I was 20.
        I like your son, lol he’s going places in the world 😉

  13. 

    I’ve been laying in bed all afternoon done up on pain killers and reading blog posts…this is by far and away the best one I’ve read today. I LOVE this story. I think I got a little hung over just reading it.

    • 

      Michelle-
      You just made my day, stopping by. And telling me how much you liked my blog post- that was just the icing on the cake.

      My BFF is trouble, but she’s also the most amazing person ever. Some people are just bursting with life force. She’s one of them.

      I hope you feel better! Are you on meds from the karate chop, or the infection?

      xoxo,
      S

  14. 

    Outstanding! Nope, I don’t have any mates who gets me into all kinds of trouble…although I think they might say they do. My bar has reached mythological status with most of them because when they turn up they know they had better have been in training. I know of several wives and a number of bosses who skip the early warning stages and go straight to DEFCON 1 when they find out there’s a shed party on (ie. 1 or more people in theBar drinking).

    What an awesome way to relive your youth, well done with bells on! So, yes, DJ’s right, training for July should involve ramping up beforehand because, biologically speaking, the more you drink over a longer period the more enzymes your liver produces to deal with the alcohol, hence a greater tolerance…maybe you won’t fall down as much and even remember who was in the bushes with you?! Looking forward to the August post on the next blowout.

    Hope your BFF is powering on, Darl, God’s luck to her.

    • 

      I don’t want to “train” for July, my REDdog friend! I don’t want to consume that much alcohol! Isn’t there some kind of pill I can take to make my liver not get so angry with me next time?

      Who SAID I was in any bushes???

      Your shed parties sound incredible. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to attend one!

      • 

        If you don’t want to train then an anti-inflammatory like Brufin will soak up all the alcohol you can throw at it, just pop a couple before you head out.

        YOU said about bushes, check your convo with Fishie…

        Yep, everyone should attend one of my shed parties at least once in their life. they’re always an adventure into the unknown. We’ve had everything from the cops pulling handguns on me for no other reason than “I was walking towards them in a menacing manner” to full on knife fights between the best of mates…I try to channel Morrison so that “no one here gets out alive!” but usually you get a stubbie holder. In fact I’ve got a beer in one right now that says I Survived REDdogs 40th…come on down!!

  15. 

    I wish I’ve been with you, drink for drink, story for story, song for song.

    Best wishes to your friend. I hope she kicks cance’rs ass.

    • 

      You definitely are my “tribe.”
      if I met you in college, we’d have driven down to NY for those very same shows. And then some.

      Thanks for the well wishes. My girl is coming along just fine. 🙂

  16. 

    This story reminds me of me and my BFF–21 years of embarrassment, both divorced and when we get together, we wake up with dirt underneath our fingernails. Not sure where that comes from. Now I’m the one with cancer and I still meet up with her every once in a while to get rocked. Move back to Brooklyn! We can hang!!

    • 

      I have so many things I want to say here.
      1. Dirt under the fingernails?
      2. Brooklyn is the shiz, giirrrrlll. Some of my favorite venues are in Brooklyn.
      3. I’m sorry to hear about your cancer. Have you blogged about it? Would you drop me a link so I can read?

      xo,
      S

      • 

        1. I’ll never understand the dirt under the fingernails.
        2. Come to Bk! I’m in park slope proper in a rent stabilized 2 bedroom w: alternate weekends free!!
        3.let me figure out how to link a post about my cancer to this.. I’m slow and just had 2 pints of Brooklyn Summer Ale.
        xoxo

      • 

        Okay, open your blog to a post about your cancer.

        Copy the URL. Left click it to highlight it in blue, right click it to copy it. Then paste it right here in the comment section, in the reply box.

        Enjoy the Summer Ale! That’s what summer is all about. xoxo

  17. 

    OMG, Samara, I’ve been waiting to hear this story since… well, since whenever I “met” you! And it didn’t disappoint!

    A few things, first: vodka is your friend for a long night of partying. Just throw in a water between drinks. And none of that Red Bull bullshit, stick with Tonic or something that won’t get you all jacked up. Second: Who are you seeing in July? I’m dying to know who is playing at this “epic concert!” Third: I have a lot of friends that get me in trouble. New ones and old ones. My college friends (there were four of us who were tight) are like family. When you write about your best friend it reminds me of them. We don’t get to see each other often anymore, we’re scattered in different cities. But we’ve all been best friends for 23 (holy crap I’m old) years. Since the first day of Freshman year. But when we’re together it’s like time stood still.

    Also, have you heard of Heavy English? They’re a relatively new band in NYC. I’ve only heard a few of their songs, but they are awesome. Check them out on YouTube, especially their cover of Zeppelin’s “Feel Like Love”. You should totally go see them!

    • 

      * I meant Zeppelin’s “Since I’ve Been Loving You”. “Feel Like Love” is another Heavy English song that I LOVE….

    • 

      I don’t have any friends who get me in trouble like this one! A lot of it has to do with the fact that she’s come full circle, and is free to come and go as she pleases.

      When I was partying like crazy in my 20s, she was raising her kids. We’ve switched places! Only, I’m too OLD for this shit.

      She lives for live music. I’ve told you about her. She travels far and wide to the most obscure places to see music festivals. She has friends all over the country from an online music community she belongs to.

      We’re going to see Lucero. Do you know them? They were the first band she saw when she reentered the world of live music a few years back. And she’s become friends with the singer, Ben Nichols. And the venue – The Stone Pony? OMG. The location – the beach? It’s going to be an amazing night.

      I listened to Heavy English on YouTube last night. LOVE! They remind me of Led Zeppelin. I’ll see if they’re playing when she’s in town and we’ll go together.

      I really am going to try and visit Jennie Saia this summer, early August. Maybe we SHOULD all see a concert together. It doesn’t have to be a drunken all night brawl for it to be epic. The company and the live music will be enough. 🙂

      Thanks for the tips about drinking. I need all the advice I can get.

      • 

        So, I was just on YouTube listening to Lucero while I cooked dinner. I got so caught up in it that I burned the garlic bread… oops! They are awesome, I love the singer’s voice. I’m a sucker for scruffy gnarly sounding voices and some good southern tinged rock! That sounds like it is going to be an epic night! And girl, if you head down this way to see Jennie, I will totally meet up with you guys! That would be amazingly awesome…

      • 

        My girl was on her way to a music festival in Little Rock last winter where Lucero was headlining. There was a storm and she got stuck in Memphis.

        Someone put her in touch with Ben Nichols, Lucero’s singer, who was driving from Memphis to the festival in Little Rock. He ended up giving her a ride. They became friends.

        Some people are just magic like that, you know what I mean? Magical things happen to her. And after this battle she had with cancer, she deserves this magic. You know that.

        We see each other more in the summer because that’s when we’re both off.

        This summer is more important than any other summer. All winter I prayed to God to please let her be alive for the summer.

        And she’s well, and looking good! Bald as a cueball, and rocking it!

        I fucking love her.

  18. 

    I have a friend who lives out of town and who I get in trouble with when he comes home, yes. My wife doesn’t even resist letting me leave the house to go with him because she knows we’re tight and that all our fun is juvenile silliness and alcohol, nothing like hookers or whatever. lol, if that makes sense. I wish nights like you describe here were more rare for me, but sadly, that way too drunk state is fairly frequent here. Sometimes good, other times, just silly.

    • 

      Juvenile silliness keeps you alive and young!

      I act like a nut with my kid all the time. I’ll bring him and his friends to a movie, and carry on like a hooligan! Yell things at the screen during fight scenes, sing nutty songs in the car, whatever.

      I’m emotionally stunted. It’s one of my endearing qualities.

      Long live the friendships that keep us in trouble 🙂

  19. 
    NotAPunkRocker June 10, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Like Fishie mentions above, I am just jealous of being in the center of all that music mayhem.

  20. 

    That was intense. 🙂 As Michelle said, I might also be getting hangover symptoms from your story – even though I’ve never experienced hangover once in my life. I drink occasionally, but my interest in drinking alcohol is significantly less than the amount of alcohol I need to imbibe to get drunk.
    Still, a word of advice, because I grew up in a very alcohol-friendly culture – if you’re going to drink…ummm, “if”? When! When you’re going to drink, eat. Not salads or olives, but some more serious food. Since it sounds like you’re going to practice anyway, try it.

    • 

      I’m NOT GOING TO PRACTICE hahahaha.

      I am just not interested in alcohol enough to invest a few weeks in ingesting it to work up to a night out!

      Yes, eating is key. That probably would have helped my condition that night.

      I think there was pizza involved, but it may or may not have ended in a food fight and body parts that shouldn’t have pizza on them.

      I haven’t forgotten your guest post. I’ve been trapped by work, and only posting once a week myself, if that. I’ve not been able to be as involved in the blog world as I would like, but I’m working my way back, and ever so grateful that you wrote me one. 🙂

      • 

        Well, I wouldn’t exactly recommend drinking alcohol for practice, but you have to do something to walk in at 7am clean and sober 🙂
        Maybe get two pizzas, one for eating and another for food fights.

      • 

        I’m NOT GOING TO WALK IN AT 7AM again hahaha!

        That was a one-time deal. I hope.

        I’m too old for that crap! I have responsibilities…

  21. 

    Wow, I think I’ll just live through you now. Your life is much more exciting than mine. How fun to live it up and roam free and be in a time warp with an old flame. Honestly, that would be wicked fun, but nothing like that has ever happened. I’m still friends with a childhood friend. I could see things getting out of hand with her but we haven’t hooked up either. Sorry to bore you. 🙂

    • 

      Amy, Amy, Amy.

      My life is as boring as it GETS. Trust me. I accidentally mixed the lights with the darks when I did the laundry and it was a BIG EVENT.

      That was the only night of 2013 (or any year, actually) that I did anything remotely like that. I’m a grown-ass woman! I don’t party (unless you count eating a box of cookies a party).

      I’m just not a “going out” sort of person. I need to, though. I have to get out and spend time with people over the age of 10. Adult people. I usually just hang out with my kid and his friends on the weekend. They’re starting to not Want. Me. Around. Ugh.

      • 

        Dear Both

        Get out there. Dont over think it. Do it. One small step. In any direction. Life is short. Live it. Eyes and arms and mind open.

  22. 

    That is an awesome story, S. Here’s to bending the elbow with old friends and troublemakers and those who manage to mate the two. Per your question, I have a client at the moment who is an ex. It’s bloody awkward.

    • 

      There’s nothing quite as liberating as hanging out with an old friend whose main objective is to get you into as much trouble as possible!

      And that concert – holy crap. Music is such a uniting force. It has a way of closing up the gap of years gone past.

      I’m pretty good with ex’s. I tend to stay friends with all of them; I kind of collect them. 🙂 Is this awkward for any particular reason? Like, did you unceremoniously dump her? Or is it just awkward?

      • 

        She dumped me for a rock star. We dated for four years way back when, and then out of the blue years later, there she was again. A client. Anyway, was awkward for about a week, but now it’s fine.

  23. 

    Ahhh…The Ritz. Remember that cool logo? The first thing I’d do when the Village Voice came out was turn to the back and see who was playing The Ritz. The best of the bunch? Ummm…tough to say but The Pretenders come to mind. I’ve already mentioned the killer-diller double bill of Big Audio Dynamite and P.I.L. Don’t get me started. I’ll be here for days.

    All Men, All Men are liars.
    Their words aint worth no more than worn out tires.
    Hey Girls, bring rusty pliers to pull this tooth,
    all men are liars and that’s the truth.

    Nick Lowe

    All good wishes to your pal. There are some killer, reasonably priced restaurants in Asbury Park. Get down there early and explore. Plus, that iconic boardwalk is just one block away from the Stone Pony. Make time for it, if you can.

    • 

      That double bill sounds amazing – have you blogged about it, or written it in my comment section?

      We’ll definitely have time to do stuff in Asbury; she’s going to be in for a while. I’d love some restaurant recommendations. I’ve eaten at a few places in Asbury Park but they’ve been overpriced and overcrowded.

      Definitely the boardwalk. I’m a sucker for a honky tonk boardwalk. It’s why we go to Wildwood every year.

  24. 

    You are the only person I ever heard of that has a life at least as weird and exciting as mine… and it sort of bugs me…

    • 

      There’s no doubt that I have had a bizarre and exciting life.

      But for me, it came with a price, Art. I played fast and loose with my life and made a lot of bad decisions.

      It makes for fabulous blogging! But not so much for a stable future. I’m behind the 8 ball, where that’s concerned.

      But I’ve had a helluva life! I hope there’s still another chapter of weird after I do the suburban mom thing.

      And don’t worry- NO ONE is as weird as you. xox

  25. 

    Do you have that one friend who gets you into all kinds of trouble?

    No.

    Are you still friends with your college roommate?

    Didn’t have any roommates after 1993. Not in touch with any of them.

    Have you ever encountered an old flame, after a very long time?

    Please read A Memory Reloaded. No, seriously. It’s good.

    When my daughter was old enough six years later to ask to go back to RadCon, I silently prayed I would NEVER run into this woman again.

    I didn’t.

  26. 

    I am so envious of people that have friends like this. My oldest and best friend I’ve known for maybe 5 years. We rarely talk and his girlfriend doesn’t trust me. We are drifting farther and farther apart.

    But my little sister has known me her whole life and we are also friends in addition to sisters. It’s comforting to be around someone that knows who you are and where you come from.

    • 

      See, Maurnas, that’s my BFF. She knows who I am.

      And we came from the same place.
      We came from the same background. Same shitty housing project. Same broken family.

      I want to tell someone this, so I’ll say it here, buried in the comment section where no one can see it.

      The first time I saw her undress, I saw a huge jagged scar running down her leg.

      Her parents were fighting, and her mother grabbed her and was climbing out the window onto the fire escape.

      They were pulling her back and forth, but they were so busy screaming at each other they didn’t notice that the screen was ripped, and was tearing and sawing into my girl’s leg.

      I told you this because I knew you would get it.

      • 

        I get it. Better than you might think. That is really awful. Memories are reminders enough without having to have the physical reminders too.

        And that’s why I am so close to my sister. We literally have the same shitty family. And the same shitty memories.

      • 

        I knew you would get it, based on things you’ve said. That’s why I shared this with you. And only you.

        It’s not something I wanted to write to the whole world. But I knew you would get it. And you would understand why she and I connected the way we did. My father died when I was little, but I had an abusive childhood.

        We’re sisters of the heart, she and I. ❤

  27. 

    Awesome story. Red Bull and vodka was once described as “legal roofies.”

  28. 

    Running wild through the streets… that’s a gift you’ve gotta give yourself. At any age, in any life situation, no matter WHAT – you’ve gotta feel that feeling once in a while.

  29. 

    A Latina chick who is an empty nester and is battling an illness? Hmmmm, sounds eerie familiar. My kind of girl! 🙂 She sounds like quite the warrior and I am glad she is fighting on.

    What a night! That ‘freedom’ from reality must have tasted so good. It always does. Then you go back to your reality and deal with some depression but have your next outing to look forward to. Such is the life. 🙂

    I used to be that girl who influenced others into having a good time. I was the bad influence when it came to having fun, staying out too long and taking some risks. Mostly when it came to dancing, partying and meeting guys. I was not into drugs, but did like alcohol. Ahhh…those were the days.

    • 

      My fiery Latina BFF is really my sistah from another mistah – partners in crime since the fall of 1986.

      And she is beating cancer like it STOLE SOMETHING!
      BOO YAH!

      She actually has stayed alive by planning one concert after another – when she’s been strong enough. The live music has kept her alive.

      I make jokes about her being a bad influence, but what she has really taught me is to appreciate the sheer beauty of being alive.

      I just spoke to her on the phone. We are going to have the best summer EVER.

  30. 

    Wow, that sounds like a trip down memory lane! I’ve never been one for partying (too many people :P) but it sounds like it’d be fun if it’s your thing. 🙂

    I think the only time I can consider “running into an old flame” being accurate is before we actually started dating. There were a few of those encounters, and now we’ve been together for four years. So there’s that. 😛

    I’m not going to lie, the image of your 10-year-old scolding you makes me laugh a little. Just wait till he’s old enough to be the one wanting to go out and party 🙂

  31. 

    I want to throttle M for that line after hearing of your divorce. Even if he thought it because of some intense bad passion in your college years, you don’t say something like that 20 years after, and the shit should know it. Pisses me off, Samara.

    I love Little Dude not wanting to let you out of the house. Yay, Little Dude. You rock.

    All that said, I want to go to the Stone Pony show, too. Wear the same thing, will, ya, and. sneak out the back door while Little Dude is guarding the front. Ha! I’d bring my dear wife Karen …

    • 

      Yay! Come to the Stone Pony! Maybe there’ll be a Springsteen sighting!

      Ahh, yes, M’s remark. Yes, a trace of bitterness. But there’s some truth to it, Mark. There really wasn’t, when he knew me. But 25 years later, ironically, there is. Sigh.

      On the Sisterwives blog, which is unveiling soon, I’ll probably talk about my marriage. All will be explained then…

      Thank you for such fierce support of me. You’re awesome.

  32. 

    Wow you’re so lucky to have such a brave, amazing, LEGENDARY BFF! 😀

  33. 

    “butt-toast hammered”
    Are you shitting me???

    “I shit a cold purple Twinkie.”

    Yer killing me!

    “He suggested Vodka and Red Bull.

    He told me it was “Refreshing. Like soda.”

    I had an Iraqi-American Friend in Basra; he called that drink a ‘do – dah – do – dah’
    Go figger…
    As per yer question,
    Yes:

    http://wp.me/p2Yfgl-aQ

    Okay: this ain’t the story. (guess I have not written it yet)
    But, it is in some sane vein,.
    (I hope)
    Cheers!
    And I do love your site!

  34. 

    “Beastie Boys at The Ritz …The Ramones at the Ritz….The Ramones. I could do a whole blog post on Joey Ramone.(love you for this) I will, someday”. Now! Now!…” the 4 of us saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers..” Jealous!

    The one and only time I was at the Ritz was to see Michael Schenker. Very cool club and well…Michael Schenker.

    This post was simply (to use a somewhat antiquated adjective) awesome. Really.

  35. 

    Sometimes want to do that too, but I’m really too old!!!! The suffering is just too much! 🙂 Whoever coined the phrase that getting old is our “golden years” must have been selling brass! 🙂

    • 

      Believe me, I’m WAY TOO OLD for this behavior.

      I was in bed 3 days – THREE – paying for this one night of debauchery.

      It was so worth it.

  36. 

    Sorry it’s taken so long to link you! I’ve been busy fighting cancer and drinking summer ale! xoxo
    http://suzyonthestreet.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/i-have-cancer-and-i-feel-sorry-for-it/

  37. 

    Thank you for the linkage, my friend!

  38. 

    Vain attempt at self promotion.
    🙂

  39. 

    Not at all.
    I try and read as many blogs as possible. And if you can direct me to a particular post, so much the better!

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. A Memory Reloaded. | the tao of jaklumen - June 11, 2014

    […] I remembered and linked to this in a response to Samara’s post I Walked In At 7 am; Dirty, Drunk… […]

  2. Things I No Longer Do, Now That I’m Old « A Buick in the Land of Lexus - December 3, 2014

    […] last time I drank heavily, my old college boyfriend poisoned me with Vodka and Red Bull. It took me three days to recover. I laid on the couch feeling like a swamp donkey, praying my […]

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