Stop telling your kid that “everyone is a winner.”
There are WINNERS, and there are LOSERS.
Stop patronizing your kids.
If your kid wants to feel like a winner, then WORK HARD and become one.
If everyone gets a trophy, then trophies become meaningless.
We mollycoddle our kids to where they’re all becoming giant pussies who can’t handle losing.
I’ve seen older kids lose at sports, and competitions, and cry. They get angry at their teammates,and blame everyone but themselves.
Teach your kid to lose graciously.
Let them channel these emotions into the drive to win next time.
Instead, we make sure nobody loses.
Welcome to the Land of Winning.
Peopled by the “Trophy Generation.”
When the worst person on a team wins the exact same trophy as the best, then what’s the motivation to BE the best?
The “Everybody Wins” culture in America is creating a generation of LOSERS.
I know middle schoolers who play sports and finish 14th, out of 15 teams.
And still make it to the playoffs.
HOW the actual FUCK does that happen?
It happens because the liberal zombie puppet masters who run the league’s main priority is “everybody wins,” not competition.
That’s how kids end up completely unprepared for the real world.
I’m not advocating that we jam our kids into a rat race to be the best at everything.
But this other extreme? This benefits NO ONE.
Helicopter overindulgent parenting is rampant where I live. In the land of the entitled, no one wants their kids disappointed.
Parents call teachers to argue over a grade.
I’m sorry. But after 5th grade, Little Dude is on his own.
I recently had a parent contact me to help her son with his college English class.
He was in danger of getting a bad grade and his mother was devastated at the havoc this would wreak on his perfect GPA.
“I think it’s a personality conflict,” she said. “I’m going to call the professor.”
THIS IS COLLEGE. YOU DON’T CALL THE TEACHERS ANYMORE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!
I support the building of healthy self-confidence. I grew up with cancer of the perspective, because I was neglected and abused.
NO ONE wants her kid to feel good about himself more than I do. Believe that.
But ego inflation is the opposite of healthy self-confidence.
This “everybody gets a trophy” mentality tells our kids you get rewarded just for being there.
That won’t build true self-esteem.
It builds an empty sense of “I’m amazing; not because I actually did anything. Just because I showed up.”
Let your kid FAIL.
Failure is the key to success. Learning to recover from, and deal with failure is empowering.
Steve Jobs was fired from the company he founded.
He credits this debacle as the reason he was so successful with Pixar, and later, upon his return to Apple.
He said being fired “freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”
And then came the I-Everything.
I’m ecstatic that this dude was fired. I’m having a love affair with my iPhone.
It autocorrects like a boss. I type in the letters “D-O” and it fills in “douchecanoe.”
Little Dude studies martial arts.
There is one major competition every year.
While I may not be a dance mom, I am definitely a Karate Mom.
NOT to be confused with a “karate man.”
He has to spar against kids from other schools; kids whose fighting style he has no experience with.
To place, you have to win several matches.
He frequently get matched against kids who are taller. 20 pounds heavier. Older.
He used to complain, “it’s not FAIR.”
Well, guess what? Life is not fair.
One year when he was paired against a much bigger opponent, as the match began, he took several steps back.
Oh, HELL NO.
I said, “You want me to pay for your training? The next time a match starts, the first thing that your opponent should see is the HEEL OF YOUR FOOT.”
He’s never stepped back since.
Our theme song on the way to competitions is Never Say Never, from the Karate Kid remake.
We always sing Jadyn Smith’s rap LOUD:
Now he’s bigger than me
Taller than me
And he’s older than me
And stronger than me
And his arms a little bit longer than me
Don’t hate on the Biebs. This is a good song. Fuck you.
I push my kid hard; I know that.
This year, because he’s 10, and feeling himself, he pushed BACK.
His karate Master evidently told them that the main thing is not to bring home a trophy, but to have fun.
Oh, really? Then why bother competing? Why not just hang around the Dojo all day and wax your dolphin?
I’m raising my son to be a MAN. I want him unafraid.
He needs to know how to defend himself.
If he’s walking down the street with a woman, and someone messes with him, I want him to be able to throw down.
I want whoever he’s with to feel safe.
This particular competition is grueling.
We have to be there at 9 am and he doesn’t usually spar until late in the afternoon.
It’s 300 degrees in a packed, cacaphonous, sweltering high school gymnasium.
I worry that the sitting around will actually cause him inertia. I try to keep him moving periodically. Jumping jacks. Practice his forms. Keep the blood flowing.
I spend the day cheering on all the kids from his school as they compete. Emphatically, let’s say.
Yes. Let’s go with that.
We both go a little crazy when the black belt teens who assistant teach his classes spar, because those matches are fierce.
When his favorite kid got kicked in the nuts during his match, I screamed “KILL HIM! TAKE HIM DOWN!”
The kids love me.
The judges…not so much.
Of course the very first match Little Dude had to fight was against a kid 6 inches taller than him.
He’s in the 10-11 year old division and this kid was older. Much. He’s turning 12 next month, and my kid is 10.
Deal with it.
The kids are wearing 100 pounds of padding. Inside that crap, it’s hotter than a whore house on nickel night.
In this form of karate, kicks above the waist are NOT allowed.
The first thing Sasquatch did was kick my kid IN HIS FACE.
He should have been disqualified.
He wasn’t. Why? Because Life. Isn’t. Fair.
Little Dude went down.
I didn’t freak and rush to him and say, “Oh, are you okay? Oh, my little darling!”
I yelled, “Shake it off! SHAKE IT OFF, baby!”
He did. The judge checked his face, which had a nice big welt just below his eye.
And Little Dude got back in there and
KICKED THIS KID’S ASS.
That’s how we do it up in here.
He went to school on Monday sporting a full blown black eye.
He also took second place in his division, which he had to fight 5 kids to earn.
I could not be prouder of this kid, especially since he fought 4 of those matches with his eye swollen.
I haven’t stopped telling him how proud I am. He needs to be acknowledged for being Jedi.
He’s not satisfied.
Next year, he wants that first place trophy.
We’ve already started conditioning.
He wants that big ass trophy, he’s going to have to work for it.
Little Dude always yells this line:
“I was born from two stars so the moon’s where I land!” ♥
How do you feel about the “Everyone Wins” generation?
Am I too tough on my kid?
Do you hate Justin Bieber? But this song is good, right?
Talk to me. I’m listening.