TUG of WAR: DC vs. Some Other People

January 24, 2014 — 53 Comments

GUEST BLOGGER: LITTLE DUDE

So, it’s

The Return of the Official Matticus Kingdom Tug-of-War

This year’s game:

For the return of the world famous game, we have chosen the prompt: 

Which universe of superheroes (and villains) is superior: Marvel or DC?

Matticus is leadingTeam Marvel.

Rara is leading Team DC.

I unwittingly spoke too soon.

When it was suggested by Matticus that one’s argument for Team Marvel could consist of,

Robert Downey Jr. is HOT (and I liked him when he was a MESS, perhaps even more so)

I gave my support to Team Marvel.

However, I said I would consult Little Dude to extend my argument. He, who at 10, understands all things Super Hero – ish.

But alas…

A CONFLICT arose in the Kingdom. (Definitely in my house).

He was, in fact, a supporter for the OTHER team. Team DC.

I consulted Matticus, and it was decreed, that Little Dude could have his OWN say, and guest blog his support for Team DC. .

What you are about to read is pure, unadulterated Little Dude.

He is a HUGE fan of many blogs on WordPress, (no – he is abso-fucking-lutely not allowed to read mine).

So yes – the blog quote he uses in his post is, in fact, one of his favorites.

He knows it, word for word. He makes his Mama proud.

With no further ado, I bring you my very first guest blogger:

Little Dude!!

Marvel vs DC

First of all I don’t know why all of you guys are a having a “little” competition about D.C. versus Marvel.

I mean, come on! We all know D.C. wins by a landslide.

Optimus Prime from the Good Greatsby said “Not rooting for the Pirates is like not rooting for a half-blind orphan missing an arm competing in a horse race on a cat to save his parents’ farm.”

The same thing applies to rooting for Marvel.

*Read following sentence in voice of evil immortal* (God)

This is why you weak mortals, oops, I mean “Marvel,” fans are wrong.

DC had the first EVER comic super hero, The Phantom, who was created by writer, artist, and one of those people who is just next to God,

LEE FALK.

When the father of the British sailor, Christopher Walker, is killed in a pirate attack in 1536, he takes an oath to fight crime. And to pass this oath on to his son, so his son can pass it on.

Eventually this crazy idea of Christopher’s got to rich playboy Jimmy Wells. He is married to Diana Palmer and has 2 children.

He also has a horse named Hero and a wolf named Devil. Like all the other Phantoms, he lives in the ancient skull cave.

Do you think Hulk could ride a horse? No, he is too… pleasantly plump.

 Mexican-Food-Funny-The-Hulk

 

Who is worse than Bin Laden? Only the Joker is. He kills tons of people and thinks of life as a big game.

The ONLY person brave enough to fight this psycho madman is BATMAN. He saw his own parents being mugged and killed in an alley at night. For his whole entire childhood he was afraid of bats, and decides to embrace his fear and become like one.

In “The Dark Night Rises” he kills himself just to save his city. Wow – he’s not anywhere near a hero.

He’s a DANG LEGEND.

 

Not only is D.C. good, Marvel STINKS!  Don’t even get me started on Deadpool – he can’t even kill Deathstroke.

2164436-deadpool_vs_deathstroke

 

Thor is not even really that strong. It’s his toy “wack-a-mole” hammer that gives him his strength.

MAD-Thor

 

The best video game Marvel has out is a Lego game.

lego

 

They could not come up with another good idea so Marvel just made The Hulk orange and called him Thing.

Come on, where is the originality,  guys?

team-up-hulk-and-thing

 

It really disappointed me when I found out Woverine’s claws came out of his knuckles, not his fingers.

Okay, this he knows nothing about and I'm going to have some fancy footwork to do in the morning

Okay, this he knows nothing about and I’m going to have some fancy footwork to do in the morning

 

How come Captain America has only a shield? Wouldn’t he need a sword or spear to go along with it?

NO SWORD, BUT THOSE ARE SOME SWEET DANCE MOM TIGHTS!

No sword, but those are some sweet Dance Mom tights!

 

This is why Marvel is worse than a Kraken eating your house when you were away on summer vacation in Hawaii drinking from coconuts, never knowing your house was even being Krakened.

WHAT'S KRAKEN, BRO?

WHAT’S KRAKEN, BRO?

 

Did I even mention Injustice? It is one of the best games ever. It is on the computer, the X box, Wii, and a few others.

They have most of the D.C. characters, plus unbelievable graphics and sweet venues. All D.C. gamers will agree with me. Nightwing’s move set is unbelievable. You might want to tell Marvel to try and make a better game than this.

It’s getting late now, and my mom’s eyes are starting to roll. She’s also starting to drool a little.

Around here, that’s the universal sign for me to go to sleep. So, for now, I’ll just say,

Little Dude – Out!

 

And his Mama says,

go-the-fuck-to-sleep

What side are you on?  DC? Marvel? 

Talk to me. I’m listening. 

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53 responses to TUG of WAR: DC vs. Some Other People

  1. 

    I loved David Banner of the hulk…

  2. 

    I’m glad you came to your senses and supported the right side, S.

  3. 

    OMG, I love, love, love this. Your little dude and mine sound a lot alike.

    I have to show my kid the Deadpool/Deathstroke comic. He is also Team DC but is weak when it comes to his favorite merc LOL.

    • 

      I was going to list all the blogs he reads, but I got lazy.

      Yours is the FIRST one we ever read. And is still one of his very favorites. “Mama, mama, let’s read Busted Flip Flops!!”

  4. 

    What sides are Ziggy and Garfield on?

    I am so confused.

    • 

      Little Dude has left for school, so I have No Clue.

      But isn’t Garfield a cat? And Ziggy – isn’t that David Bowie?

      • 

        I might have been thinking of the wrong comics page. Hagar the Horrible could settle this all, methinks 🙂

        Ask Little Dude where Pokemon fits in all of this. There must be some way of bringing peace throughout the universe(s). I hate strife. Get a Teamsters union boss in there – they’ll fix it all up.

        Great to learn more and more…I was afraid you guys were gonna tell me that all these guys were just made up or something…lol.

      • 

        Alas, Little Dude is past Pokemon, and onto Magic the Gathering.

        But the making up part – this sounds like a good thing. I’m all for Superhero World peace, huh?

        You’re awesome. As usual.

      • 

        she’s referring to the comic strip “Ziggy”, samara: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziggy_%28comic_strip%29

  5. 

    What an enjoyable read. I love his humor. Go Team DC!! w00t!!

  6. 

    He has quite a talent for writing. I wonder where he gets that from?

  7. 

    Little Dude,
    DC support noted, tallied, counted, etc.. by the official counter type people we have here in the kingdom. I think. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen them in a couple days, since this whole tug-of-war thing started exploding. I heard them mumbling something about working conditions and the likelihood of overtime, or lack thereof, … and then they disappeared. I guess I should track them down. That’s my problem, not yours. And, I feel compelled to award Team DC, as much as it pains me to do so, an extra 1,000 points of pulling power for their side of the rope, because awesomesauce. Pure, unfiltered, untainted, awesomesauce.

    Samara,
    Your greatness as a parent shine through in every single aspect of this post.

    Matticus

    • 

      We had a lot of fun doing it.

      He loved writing it, and searching for all the pictures (besides the one I snuck in after he went to sleep).

      I think…he may want to become a blogger. Oh. Boy.

      Thanks, by the way.

      • 

        You’re welcome, by the way. 😉
        And thank you both for playing along in the game and helping spread some silliness this week in the blogosphere.

  8. 

    I wish I could paste some of the comic characters I have Photoshopped in old posts in this little comment box.

  9. 

    This is so great!! Little Dude is a genius. 😀

  10. 

    I can’t believe you’re trashing the other side like that! I mean sure, some of the hair is truly ridiculous. And there can be an awful lot of moping. and some truly difficult webs to unravel. And maybe that crown is worn a touch too heavily, but-

    What?!?

    You’re not attacking the Archie gang?

    Umm….

    nevermind.

    • 

      I gave Little Dude SUCH a hard time for spending forever looking for just the right kraken – I was like, “for goodness sake, no one even knows what a kraken IS”-

      except YOU do –

      There it WAS – on your blog. From last week. I visited you today, and shrieked in horror. Did you do that on purpose????

      • 

        What?
        No….
        of course not…
        I would never…

        (Sorry, it’s hard to say more than 3 words while I’m laughing so hard at such a well executed plan.) 😀

        Though I did see someone post a palm-sized kraken pic, captioned “Not quite as big as you thought it was…”

  11. 

    Great blog!

    I started reading both Marvel and DC comics in the 1960’s (!) A local grocer imported them selling them on for a penny. I bought dozens of them.

    The things I remember about these works of art is the thick shiny paper with amazingly colourful & stylish drawings of exotic characters. Pow! I was hooked, stunned, knocked out. Then there were those adverts that gave a glimpse of a weird country that made & sold X-Ray specks & exercise regimes that turned wimpy kids into ripplingly muscle man-mountains.

    I can’t say I remember having a preference for Marvel’s or DC, both were brilliant to me.

    I only stopped buying & reading them when the paper quality changed! My mum tells me I packed them up & put them in the loft when I was about 13, & there they still are…not thought about them until now…tell you what I’m going to do next time I go back to my folks…time travel

    Great work Dude from a one time comic nerd

    • 

      Little Dude thanks you!!

      X Ray Spec? For real?

      • 

        Yes its true. The specs enabled you to see through clothes, so they claimed. Can’t imagine why they thought that might appeal to boys… There were other things they sold such as mini spy cameras and palm shockers…all inspiring stuff

  12. 

    Little Dude is awesome! The kid’s got some great arguments, and an even better sense of humor. Love it! And kudos to mom for letting him have his voice on here (especially since we’re on the same side).

  13. 

    Hey Little Dude,

    I’m serving you a COLOSSAL cup of wrongness, because Cimmorene and I are for Marvel, and you ain’t changed a thing. *slurp* Yum, yum, wrongness! Oh, yum! I’m having a GIANT cup of wrongness, myself!

    p.s. Opinions are like butts… everyone’s got one, and they all stink! Muhahahaha!

    • 

      Little Dude would comment, but he is currently doing a big ol Victory Dance

      because there is a GIGANTIC RUMOR flying around the Kingdom that is going to end this Tug of War in a HUMONGOUS, PYTHONIC, BRODIGNAGIAN defeat.

      In his favor.

      • 

        Serve it to him anyways. Read my words saying, “Oh no, Cimmy and I still like Marvel, no matter how you jump and dance, the last few drops of pee still fall in your pants.”

        I don’t know why it ended like that. *sigh* Cimmy grew up in a house of mostly men, and I always like that rhyme.

  14. 

    Little Dude,
    Much as I appreciate the strength of your argument, I don’t agree. Superman is supercool and Batman is awesome and all that, but their stories have no basis in reality. Marvel heroes all have backstories based in reality. That’s why I like them. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against DC supers, they’re just not my favorites.

  15. 

    I don’t really give a shit about the argument. Though if I had to pick it’d be Marvel as my brothers and I used to collect four different titles growing up. But I’m commenting to say that not only is Little Dude awesome but you just get more and more intriguing and awesome with each post I read.

    It’s a shame you (and most of my other blog crushes) live in the US. I think you’d be someone I could really kick it with. That was me trying to be street by the way. It was fucking terrible wasn’t it? In fact don’t answer that. I may die of embarrassment if you do.

    Still trying to figure out how best to read your damn blog by the way! Carry on.

  16. 
    dorkmasterfunk2013 February 4, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Little Dude ROCKS, I don’t remeber if I read this Guest Blog by the lad. I’m a grown man and I cannot write this well. Go DC. I used to have a lot of comic books but my mother tossed them when I went to college. I always bought 2 copie of each. One I read and one that went into a sealed plastic cover. Mom tossed them all. I can’t wait to hear what Little Dude has to say next.
    Peace.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. One side tugged and the other tugged harder | The Matticus Kingdom - January 28, 2014

    […] TUG of WAR: DC vs. Some Other People « A Buick in the Land of Lexus […]

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